*untitled*

Hello my friends.

It is raining. Still. I think I'm getting moldy.

Sorry I haven't written in a while, I've had a lot on my mind, and didnt feel like posting. But I think I'm better now!

I'm sitting here, with my mocha beside me (how many times have we seen that?) thinking about a lot of things... I'm not sure how much I want to type here though. Hmmm...

Camp is coming in two short weeks...I am not even ready yet. I've got shopping to do! My last paychecks from the office are going towards stuff for camp. My list isnt that long, but its things I'm not gonna be able to do without.

Oh, I need to set up a checking acct soon... I've got my savings, but that's not always convenient.

I have one week of work left at the office, and I'm gonna miss it there! I think I'm going to talk to my boss about working there again after camp, maybe actually answer telephones this time. heehee I really don't mind the work there. It's all filing, which doesnt take too much brain power. I just have to know my ABCs!

So, yesterday evening I was a wreck. The weight of school finally got me. My GED has been pushed back to August. I haven't sent in my applications for college yet because I dont have the money for the fees. And I dont have time to get all of that done before camp.

Hmm, I don't think I want to get into the rest of that right now... I need to go hop through the shower.

Bye!

Woohoo!!

Wow, I'm tired! haha!

Star Wars last night was... good! I won't write my thoughts just yet, I'll give you all a chance to see it first. Then you can form your own opinion. :-)

Tomorrow morning we leave for the prayer retreat! YEAH! I've been waiting for this for a LONG TIME! I'm trying to get my friend Adrianne to go, but it's REALLY last minute, so that probably won't work. But hey, I can try! lol

I've got a lot of driving to do tomorrow. I'm hoping to get us outta here by 9-30-ish. That's the plan anyways. heehee. Let's see... 3 and 1/2 hours at least to get there... I wonder how many CDs I can go through in that time... Lets find out! haha

Well, I gotta go peel potatoes. I probably won't have time to post before I leave tomorrow, so, until the next time I write, have a wonderful weekend!!

God Bless!

Star Wars!!

Can you hear it? It's the Star Wars theme!!!

Tonight I do see the movie, with Aaron, Jake, and Mike. Gonna be a blast!!

Gotta run for now, but I'll post, tomorrow probably, all about the movie.

Tootles!

Verses!

I forgot to post these the other night!!

Here are the verses I pulled out the other day. Enjoy!
*Judd, check these out, you'll understand better than anyone why I picked them! heehee*
All verses are NIV unless specified.

Genesis 24:12-27 The Message (MSG)
1 Samuel 16:7
Psalm 1:1-3
Psalm 15
Psalm 18:20-24 MSG
Psalm 20:1, 4
Psalm 25:16
Psalm 27:14
Psalm 37:4
Psalm 42:5 MSG
Psalm 119:82, 84, 109, 116
Song of Songs 3:5
Jeremiah 29:11
Romans 12:9-21 NIV & MSG
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Ephesians 5:22-33 MSG
Philippians 4:8, 19
1 Timothy 4:12
1 Timothy 6:11
2 Timothy 1:12
2 Timothy 2:22
Hebrews 11:1
James 1:17

There ya go! Those are the verses that have a special significance to me concerning relationships. They may hold a different significance to you. Hope they at least touched your heart!

TTFN, Ta ta for now!

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Dun Dun Dun

Hey look, I'm GREEN!! hahahaha

How are yall doin'? I think I'm finally over being sick, for the most part. I can sing again! I drove my brother nuts on the way home from the Bible study last night, I turned on my country radio station, and was singing along. He didnt like it much. The music, not my singing. Can you believe he doesnt like country music? Its unbelievable! Who could NOT like country music?? lol

I guess I'll keep him though, for Amber's sake. haha!

Prayer Retreat is in a week!!! YEAH! I am SO HAPPY!!! I found out last night at the study that there are a LOT of people from my church going. We're gonna be the Concord Contingent! We'll cordon off a part of the lodge just for Concord people. lol We'll take up half the meeting house!! hahahaha Well, Ok, maybe I'm exadurrating a little bit... But there will be many of us! The poor church back home is gonna be empty next weekend. Between the Prayer Retreat and the Pathfinders all being gone somewhere... wow.

So, I was thinking the other night, and reading some in my Bible, and I came across some cool stuff. With all thats been happening lately in my dating life, I've been thinking a lot about relationships and being single and letting God direct that part of my life. The other night I found some verses that really help with that. Most of them are just verses about God leading in your life, but they can apply to this too. I'll post them here later today.

Mom and Sam and Aaron are going out today, groceries! So the twins and I are gonna have some fun girl time here....after chores are done, of course. But since I'm in charge, even chores will be fun! I mean, how can you not have fun doing dishes when you have Superchick or Hawk Nelson or BarlowGirl playing LOUDLY over the stereo?! Maybe I'll even put in some Brad Paisley or Rascall Flatts! hahahaha I will convert this family to country music someday!

Ok, I need to get going for now. Need to take my shower and start my day. I've spent the last couple hours since I woke up reading. I had to finish my book so I can move onto the next one! (Just finished book 3 in a 5 book series.) I plan on starting the next book today...sometime... :-)

Going now!
Hugs!

I'm back

Hello my friends!

I truly apologise for not writing more. I've had a ton of stuff on my mind, and haven't really felt like sitting down to write. But I'm here now, so watch out! :-)

So lets see, whats been happening... Well, I think I mentioned I was sick... but I dont remember... so, Guess what?! I was sick ALL last week! Like really sick, spent all day in bed, achy all over, unable to breathe, THAT kind of sick! Not fun! But I'm all set now... just still have the stuffy/runny nose thing, and my voice hasn't come back yet. I was told by my loving cousin this weekend that I sounded like I've been smoking. haha (the same cousin who used to call me Ashtray)

My brother just came in, fresh out of the shower, and he looks like one of those really shaggy dogs. lol I guess he's waiting for a haircut.

Oh, I got my new glasses last week! They're dark green, but look black sometimes. I love them so much! I got prescription sunglasses too, which are totally cool. I'm happy. :-)

Prayer Retreat is coming up in a week and a half!!! May 20-22!! I am SO excited... I need it so much! With all the stuff I've been dealing with, that retreat will be more like a vacation! One of the highlights is the Golden Silence, two full hours of no speaking. Everyone goes off on their own, they can do what they want, but it must be silent. The last few times, I've spent the time with Jeremy, who cannot stay that quiet for that long. :-P (You know I'm right, Jeremy!) So this time I am making sure I'm alone. Just me, my blanket, my Bible, and my notebook. I know exactly where I'm gonna go too... but I'm not gonna say where, because then people will follow me there! muahaha

Wow, I was just handed a check for $50!

Man, I hope my voice comes back to normal SOON! I'm listening to my country station, and I wanna sing, but I cant!:'-( Thats been the hardest part about being sick, I can't sing. I just need to be able to sing for the retreat. If I can't sing there, I will be SO man! haha

Well, I suppose I should get going. I have an hour before I need to go to work...less actually, cause I need time to stop at the bank, get gas, and maybe get a coolata. heehee

Hugs to everyone!

Oh my!

It's been a while since I've written! Yikes! I'm slacking off!! :-( But I have good reason this time, I was sick in bed all week! Yucky stuff... But I'm better now, yay!

I really can't write long, headed to bed soon, and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, but I felt bad about not writing for a while... so here I am!

And there I go!

Goodnight!

Hi!

Hey!
Just thought I'd write before I started considering going to bed for the night. ;-)

I mean... uh... if my parents are reading this, before I DO go to bed for the night!

Actually, I should be going to bed soon anyways, been up late so many nights this week... thanks to SOMEONE!! hahahaha

Tomorrow I get to go visit another cemetary! I can't wait! I enjoy them so much! The history that you can find in them...

Sometimes when I see a particularly eloquent headstone I wonder what kind of person they really were. Did they truly live up to the inscription? Or was their family just trying to be polite one last time? And what about all the stones for babies? Those make me so sad... children who die before they are even a year old. I wonder if they were from a big family, or if they were the only child ever born to their parents. Were they the oldest? the youngest? Or were they unwanted? There are so many questions around each headstone. You could create wonderful lives for the person, or they could be a dastardly villian! It's such a "scope for the imagination!" to quote Anne Shirley.

Ok! I'm done! :-D

Time to go for the night. I want to do some reading, and maybe some writing, before I go to bed. And maybe I'll catch some interesting people online. We'll see how things go. I just need to keep in mind that I can't sleep in tomorrow... blah...

G'night!

Website updated!

Yes, I updated my website!... well... a part of it. I put up some new poetry!

Check out the site here.

Maybe I'll update some more stuff tonight too... Who knows.

Tootles!

More Lyrics

Ok, here's another song that has wormed its way into my heart. heehee

Beauty From Pain ~ Superchic[k]
The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I've died

And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dream ran my sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed
I will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When like before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place

And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how You've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed
I will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise there will be a dawn

After all this has passed
I will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Just for fun...

I found this on a friends journal. I was curious about it, so I tried it. Those who know me well, how close is this to me? :-)

Your Life Path Number Is 11

11 Your life path is greatly associated with spiritual awareness. As one of the two master numbers, the 11 yields understanding and knowledge beyond the grasp of others. The attitude toward life of those possessing this Life Path is somewhat extreme; extremely intuitive, avant-garde, idealistic, visionary, and cultured. These extremes make you an interesting, if unusual person, with much to offer society. The Life Path 11 person is deep-thinking, and you are no doubt interested in understanding many of life's mysteries and more intriguing facets. Your inventive mind and broad-minded views will permit you to succeed in life in any number of ventures. You can best serve society, however, in those endeavors utilizing your skills of counseling and guidance. Much of your idealism is people oriented and quite humanitarian in nature. You expect a great deal of yourself and of those to whom you are close. On the negative side, there is a lot of nervous tension associated with the 11 life path, and you can be a difficult person to deal with because of this. For this reason, relationships, at times, can be difficult. This is a Life Path that seems to feature broad mood swings between the elation and depression. You are likely to have trouble making decisions and getting your life in gear, so to speak. There is a tendency for the 11 to harbor feelings of uneasiness, and dissatisfaction with accomplishments and personal progress in life. Your grandiose schemes usually make sense, but you can get off the track and they can be very impractical. You have a very distinct side that lacks common sense, and you are quite often unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality. In this regard, you are perhaps more of a dreamer than a doer. When you do get on target, your ideas seem to have been inspired on high. Perhaps you are not a leader, but you are a visionary and a very talented idea person.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Ketchup!

Hi Folks!

Wow, it's been a while since I last posted! I need to work on that... But ya know, sometimes life gets the better of you, and leaves you with either no free time, or no inspiration. Kinda stinks. Oh well, I'm here now!

Let's see, to catch you all up on whats been happening with me...

Well, last weekend I went to visit my old church, and spent the weekend with some old friends. That was fun! Cass and Amanda, we need to get together sometime before life gets too busy!

Then I worked during the week.

Wednesday I pick up Amber, Aaron's girlfriend. It is never boring with her around! :-) On the way home, we stopped in to see Mike at Subway. Luckly we happened to come in during a slow point, and we were able to talk for a while before Mike had to go back to work.

And then, hmm... I was sorta sick over the weekend, so I stayed home from church. Saturday night I went to Adah's for her family's seder. That was fun. Jewish food is SOOO yummy!!! I may have to sneak out of school next year to come up for it. heehee

Yesterday evening, I went over to Mike's and we watched Electra. (such a guy movie. lol) Its always fun to go over there, surrounded by guys. :-) I'm almost "one of the guys"..... Andrew was comfortable enough to burp in my ear a couple of times. I think I either have to keep up with them, or get really girly so they treat me like a lady..... I think I'd prefer the former! hahaha! I hope they can teach me a few things about archery because.....

You are looking at Camp Winnekeag's new Archery Instructor! Yup, along with one of the guys from camp, I am teaching something I know nothing about... yet. I guess camp is gonna pay for my training though, which is good, cause I certainly cant afford it!

Well, I think thats all for now!

Tootles my friends!

Hope!

Lamentations 3:19-33 -
"19I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
20I remember it all--oh, how well I remember--
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
21But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
22GOD's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
23They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
24I'm sticking with GOD (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.
25GOD proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
26It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from GOD.
27It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.
28When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
29Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
30Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.
31Why? Because the Master won't ever
walk out and fail to return.
32If he works severely, he also works tenderly.
His stockpiles of loyal love are immense.
33He takes no pleasure in making life hard,
in throwing roadblocks in the way..."

Jeremiah writes about Jerusalem's fall and distruction. He tells of the desolation, and the abominations that happened; death, invasions, cannibalism... And yet, in these verses, he still expresses his hope in God.

He witnessed terrible things that most of us can't even fathom. But he never lost his faith in God.

Think of all the things we go through that "challenge" our faith in God. Compare them to what Jeremiah had to deal with. Our problems seem pretty small now, don't they?

Yet why do we let our problems and our issues weaken our faith?

Hmm....

Hindsight is 20/20

If that's so, then I obviously dont have very good hindsight, since my normal sight isn't even close to 20/20!

Had a fun day today at the eye docs. He made my pupils get HUGE!! haha!

I was overdue for an exam, so AA and I went today. I wanted to ask if it was possible for me to get contacts, so I could just buy sunglasses at Wally World. Sadly, 'twas not to be. See, my eye's are in such a shape that I have to wear my glasses every waking hour, just to protect them! My left eye is so weak, that my right eye does all the work. So I need to protect my right eye. If something happens to it, I'm up a creek and not able to see where I'm going! hahah! So I picked out some new frames, they are greeeeen. I also picked out some cool sunglasses to fill with my prescription. Yippie!

Well, time for me to run away again...

Tootles!

Totally Awesome Songs!

Hey folks! I was listening to one of my totally awesome cds on the way home from work today, and three songs really hit me. Some of you know what I've been going through over the last few weeks. These songs kinda hit the proverbial nail on the head. I hope they hold as much for you as they did me!

On My Own ~ Barlow Girl
I can't believe that I"m here in this place again
How did I manage to mess up one more time?
This pattern seems to be the story of my life
Should have learned this lesson by the thousandth time

'Cause I promise myself I wouldn't fall
But here I've fallen
I guess I'm not as strong as I thought
All I can do is cry to You

Oh God You have to save me
You're my last and only hope
All my right answers fail me
I can't seem to make it on my own

I always thought that I would be strong enough
What made all of them fall couldn't take me down
Yeah, did I think that I was above it all
I have learned that pride comes before the fall

I can't promise that I won't fall
'Cause here I've fallen
I know I'm not as strong as I thought
All I can do is cry to You

You Led Me

You Led Me ~ Barlow Girl
Good morning
The night is over and gone
I thought once
This dark would last for so long

Feel the sunlight
On my face
You have brought me
Through this place

Jesus, Jesus You found me
Through the long night you led me
You set me free

Do you see
Just what you've done in my life?
You gave me
More then I hoped for; now I

feel your sunlight
On my face
You have brought me
Through this place

Jesus, Jesus You found me
Through the long night you led me
You set me free

Feel the sunlight
On my face
You have brought me
Through this place

Never Alone

Never Alone ~ Barlow Girl
I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no.
I needed you today
So where did you go?
You told me to call
Said you'd be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?

Chorus
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

And though I cannot see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep reassurance
You've placed in my life.
We cannot separate
'Cause you're part of me.
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen.

Chorus
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone

I'm Back!!!

A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn. ~Author Unknown

The Ashley has returned! * listens for applause *

Well, yeah. Anyways! I really need to find something to eat, I'm starving. Just wanted to let everyone know I was back!

Much love!

Well, Folks...

I think I need some time away from this. I have too much going on in my head right now. I'm angry with someone, and I dont want that to leak out on here. So I dont think I'll be posting for a while until I can either get some answers, or get over this. Who knows how long that will take.

I've been seriously hurt, and I'm finally angry about it. I feel like a fool. An idiot. Choose your word.

Anyways, that's all. Feel free to still email or IM. I'll be around.