Whew... we're almost done. I can see the end of the tunnel!
This semester has been a hard one for so many people I know. I don't know what is different, but people have been struggling in classes, friendships, relationship, work, and sleep. To the naked eye, nothing is different, but something unseen is causing trouble.
Jordan and I are counting down the days to the end of the semester... This has definitely been his hardest semester... the poor boy has been working on 18 credits worth of classes. To put it into perspective, 12-16 is considered full time, and anything more needs extra permission and money. But come December 19th, he will be 18 credits closer to graduation.
I have been floating along with only 13 credits, and still struggling to stay on top. I think wedding plans are distracting. Next semester I am only taking 12 credits, and 3 of those are not even a semester-long classes. I think I'll be sticking to 12 credits from now on as well. Once I'm married, and Jordan is working, I'll want time for life, not just school. (plus that nasty word, WORK)
We are slowly getting used to the idea that in 6 months we will be living together, cooking together, washing laundry together, arguing over chores together, and just simply existing together. I honestly am not sure how I will manage for the first little while. We have lived the last 3 years with a curfew. Come 11:00 (1:00 now) it's time to send him home... but then... I will be home for him.
The idea of waking up next to someone I love so much is indescribable. I can't wait for the little things, like seeing our toothbrushes standing next to each other by the sink... making breakfast for two... sharing a sock drawer... drinking morning coffee together... grocery shopping together.
This man who has seen all my good days and bad days and even the hellish days... but who is still there, wanting to marry me... It's hard to believe such a man exists... but there he is. He's not perfect, he's had his good days and bad days and butthead days just like me. Luckly, the butthead days and the witch days don't fall on the same day usually.
I am really truly blessed to be able to call him mine. And I am honored to call myself his. In 6 months, when we make the ultimate promise to each other, when we seal the deal, I will be The Happiest Girl on Earth.
Until then, I wait extremely impatiently for May 17. And I love him... my Jordan. :-)
11/20/08
11/7/08
My Dad
I just wanted to let everyone know that I have the world's best Dad. Don't try to argue the point with me, you won't win. My Dad is the best and thats all there is to it.
Since I can remember, Dad has been working. The job and the hours have changed, but the quality and effort hasn't. My parents decided a long time ago that my Mom would be a stay-at-home mom, and Dad would work. I can't thank them enough for that. While Dad worked long hours, sometimes at night, sometimes gone for a week, I knew it was for me. (And my 4 siblings, of course) And even through the hardest time for my family, I never doubted his love for me.
My siblings and I were (and the youngers still are) home schooled. Mom was my teacher for a while, and then I was my own teacher through correspondence classes. Dad didn't often help with my "formal" education. But I think he has taught me something better. Determination, commitment, respect, and loyalty.
With every job my Dad has held, he has worked hard. He has even taken on more hours that is healthy for a normal human being, because he said the job would get done, and stuck with it until it was. When co-workers have quit and gone home for the day, Dad will finish what they left undone.
I suppose you could say Dad is a people pleaser, but not in a brown-noser kind of way. My Dad earns the respect of others by giving others respect. That's where I get it from. :-) (I also get my stubbornness from him) He earns loyalty by being loyal. For the most part, my Dad lives by the golden rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated.... even if others still don't appreciate him.
Now, before you go thinking I'm biased (even though I am) I must point out that my Dad is not perfect. He has a temper. When he is upset, he doesn't like to talk about it. He lets things eat at him to avoid ugly confrontation. And if you hurt him, it takes a while for him to forgive, though he will eventually.
These things used to bother me. Growing up, I couldn't understand why he was like that. There were some nights when you could cut the tension in the house with a knife. I'm still not sure I understand...
But then I started dating Jordan. Over the three years we've been together, Jordan has seen both my good side as well as my bad side. In talking about things, he has brought to my attention that I have a lot of the same qualities as my Dad. I already knew we shared the same feelings about respect and loyalty. (Ask any of my friends... if you don't respect me, I lose respect for you. Fast.) But along with all of the good qualities, we share many of the bad ones too.
So while I still don't fully understand some of my Dad's character traits, it is easier for me to accept them, knowing I have them too. I just hope we never get each other too upset!
My Dad is wonderful. In his quiet, subtle way, he's always got some way of showing me how proud he is of me... and sometimes, it's not so quiet. Like today. I got home from vespers, and found a message from him telling me just how proud he was. It was really special. I don't get to talk to him much because we are both busy people now. But when I get little messages like that from him, it makes me smile.
I must admit though... I'm not looking forward to him walking me down the aisle at my wedding... Don't get me wrong, I want him to... but when he starts crying, I'm going to lose it, and all my pretty make-up is going to run right off my face... and it will be all his fault! ;-)
Dad, if you're reading this (which I'm sure you are) I just want to tell you that I love you. And I'm proud of you too.
From your first "Daddy's little girl" xoxo
Since I can remember, Dad has been working. The job and the hours have changed, but the quality and effort hasn't. My parents decided a long time ago that my Mom would be a stay-at-home mom, and Dad would work. I can't thank them enough for that. While Dad worked long hours, sometimes at night, sometimes gone for a week, I knew it was for me. (And my 4 siblings, of course) And even through the hardest time for my family, I never doubted his love for me.
My siblings and I were (and the youngers still are) home schooled. Mom was my teacher for a while, and then I was my own teacher through correspondence classes. Dad didn't often help with my "formal" education. But I think he has taught me something better. Determination, commitment, respect, and loyalty.
With every job my Dad has held, he has worked hard. He has even taken on more hours that is healthy for a normal human being, because he said the job would get done, and stuck with it until it was. When co-workers have quit and gone home for the day, Dad will finish what they left undone.
I suppose you could say Dad is a people pleaser, but not in a brown-noser kind of way. My Dad earns the respect of others by giving others respect. That's where I get it from. :-) (I also get my stubbornness from him) He earns loyalty by being loyal. For the most part, my Dad lives by the golden rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated.... even if others still don't appreciate him.
Now, before you go thinking I'm biased (even though I am) I must point out that my Dad is not perfect. He has a temper. When he is upset, he doesn't like to talk about it. He lets things eat at him to avoid ugly confrontation. And if you hurt him, it takes a while for him to forgive, though he will eventually.
These things used to bother me. Growing up, I couldn't understand why he was like that. There were some nights when you could cut the tension in the house with a knife. I'm still not sure I understand...
But then I started dating Jordan. Over the three years we've been together, Jordan has seen both my good side as well as my bad side. In talking about things, he has brought to my attention that I have a lot of the same qualities as my Dad. I already knew we shared the same feelings about respect and loyalty. (Ask any of my friends... if you don't respect me, I lose respect for you. Fast.) But along with all of the good qualities, we share many of the bad ones too.
So while I still don't fully understand some of my Dad's character traits, it is easier for me to accept them, knowing I have them too. I just hope we never get each other too upset!
My Dad is wonderful. In his quiet, subtle way, he's always got some way of showing me how proud he is of me... and sometimes, it's not so quiet. Like today. I got home from vespers, and found a message from him telling me just how proud he was. It was really special. I don't get to talk to him much because we are both busy people now. But when I get little messages like that from him, it makes me smile.
I must admit though... I'm not looking forward to him walking me down the aisle at my wedding... Don't get me wrong, I want him to... but when he starts crying, I'm going to lose it, and all my pretty make-up is going to run right off my face... and it will be all his fault! ;-)
Dad, if you're reading this (which I'm sure you are) I just want to tell you that I love you. And I'm proud of you too.
From your first "Daddy's little girl" xoxo
11/2/08
Sitting at work... anything but alone.
Tonight I was late for work. I was riding back from Nashville with Jordan after a weekend video shoot. We were a timezone to the left, and had daylight savings ending, so our inner clocks were completely off...
But I won't blame being late on the time. That would be like blaming athsma on air... Ok, not exactly.
We got up late this morning, because we could... and then I turned on the TV, and we watched a portion of James Bond... then we decided we were hungry, so we gave away an hour and a half of our morning to the Sunday-after-church-Cracker-Barrel rush.
So really it was our fault we were late. Oh well.
But Jordan and I had some good discussion on the way home. We talked a lot about what I could do for a living/ministry. What I would like to do is get kids and teens involved in photography as a way of expressing themselves, and also as a way of helping them find God for themselves. Photographs can express so much, and can help someone see something they wouldn't have seen otherwise. Photographs can be a ministry in themselves.
Each one of us is different. And likewise, everyone sees the world in a different way. Some people may only see the heartache. Others see the positives. And still others just look at the details of life, the little things that make life what it is, good or bad.
Even kids see the world differently than we do. They are so innocent and naive, they would notice so many things that we brush off as just filler, background, unimportant. I can't wait to see what kids see through the lens of a camera.
Well, I've rambled enough. Its time to try to get homework done.
But I won't blame being late on the time. That would be like blaming athsma on air... Ok, not exactly.
We got up late this morning, because we could... and then I turned on the TV, and we watched a portion of James Bond... then we decided we were hungry, so we gave away an hour and a half of our morning to the Sunday-after-church-Cracker-Barrel rush.
So really it was our fault we were late. Oh well.
But Jordan and I had some good discussion on the way home. We talked a lot about what I could do for a living/ministry. What I would like to do is get kids and teens involved in photography as a way of expressing themselves, and also as a way of helping them find God for themselves. Photographs can express so much, and can help someone see something they wouldn't have seen otherwise. Photographs can be a ministry in themselves.
Each one of us is different. And likewise, everyone sees the world in a different way. Some people may only see the heartache. Others see the positives. And still others just look at the details of life, the little things that make life what it is, good or bad.
Even kids see the world differently than we do. They are so innocent and naive, they would notice so many things that we brush off as just filler, background, unimportant. I can't wait to see what kids see through the lens of a camera.
Well, I've rambled enough. Its time to try to get homework done.
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