An Almost Perfect Husband

I know I shared some things about my husband recently that could make him out to be a saint. He's not. He's only huMAN.

Since I've been pregnant (For 5 years or so... ok, 5 months....) Jordan has been great. He sings and talks to the baby regularly, he has made trips to Walmart to curb my crazy cravings, he hasn't complained (much) about getting woken up in the night when I have to get up to use the bathroom. He has helped cook and clean, has given me back rubs when my muscles get tight, and has hugged me when I cry like a baby at movies that shouldn't make me cry (ah, hormones!).

For the most part, Jordan has been a pregnant woman's DREAM.

But just recently, he has started to show his huMANity.

Set the stage: Last week, we were watching a movie on the couch, and I needed to use the bathroom (again). My attempt to get up off the couch was less than graceful, and I commented on the fact. Jordan's reply was "Good thing you don't think you're graceful right now, cause you'd be lying to yourself." Zing.

I know he meant to be cute and funny, and the fact is he was right. But here's the thing I'm trying to teach him. Just because it is true, does NOT make it the right thing to say at that moment. Instead, he should have said something like, "It's ok, honey. You will always be graceful to me." Or something like that. Even if it's corny, its still a POSITIVE statement!

Set the stage again: This week, we were visiting with some friends for dinner, and the husband of the couple commented that I looked like I've gained weight. Fine for him to say, I know him well enough to understand what he meant and get the joke. (No, CB, you are not in trouble with me!) Jordan commented back saying, "Yeah, she has been eating a lot lately." Zing.

I don't care how true his statement was, HE should not have said it. We discussed this later, and I told him that was a negative statement coming from him, who should be my BIGGEST supporter right now. Instead, he could have said "I think she looks radiant!" Or something POSITIVE like that.

We will not get into our discussion about the differences between a POSITIVE statement and an AFFIRMATIVE statement... sigh...

The moral of this story is, my husband is huMAN. (Did you catch my emphasis on MAN?) He is trying his best to be supportive and understanding and sweet. For the most part, he is, more than I could ask for! But there are those times when his huMANity shows through, and gets him into trouble... We are still working on this.

I have been able to laugh about all of this. I'm trying hard not to take myself or anything that goes with this pregnancy too seriously. I know Jordan is trying, and I appreciate everything he does to make me happy and show he loves me. I couldn't ask for a better husband.

I love you to bits, Honey. I don't take too much offense at your comments... just a little. :-) Call this a practice round for Baby #2 in a few years!

The Twitter Marriage Revolution

This blog is primarily for the married folk, but anyone can benefit.

Lately I have found several very positive Twitter accounts to follow. It all started with Chattanooga's @firstthings, the account for First Things First, an org that focuses on positive family activities, stronger relationships, better marriages. They reposted something from an account called @themarriagebed.

You might have been skeptical about that account name, but I was intrigued. Were there really Twitter users out there that focus on building better marriages? Yes!!

@themarriagebed then retweeded posts from other users, such as @thepurebed, @marriagejourney, @redhotmarriage, and @awesomehusbands. If you have a Twitter account, I highly suggest you look them up.

These users are focused on building relationships between husbands and wives. They don't dance around the topic of sex or divorce or anything. They talk plain, but with respect for marriage.

I found all of these accounts after reading about several broken marriages on Facebook. I won't name names, because it's not my place, and it doesn't matter anyways. I don't know the stories or the reasons why the marriages failed, and I don't need to. What hit me, though, is that they failed.

There are some days when I sit back, and take a good look at my marriage. I've been married for 2 and a half years. We've been together for about 7 years. We fight, we disappoint each other, we both forget to do things that we've been asked to do (and yes, it drives us both nuts!). But we also have grown a lot together. Before we had even gotten engaged, we had already seen pretty much the worst in each other.

Jordan stuck by me during a medication-induced crazy period (by some miracle). We helped each other with the deaths of loved ones, bad grades, bad jobs, failed friendships. Jordan had seen my ugly cry very early on, and still loves me!

Even right after we got engaged, and we were in a car accident. I broke my wrist, and Jordan ended up getting his appendix removed. What a start, right?

Since we've been married, we have grown so much... sometimes I don't recognize us from 2 years ago.

Jordan travels a lot for work. He is out of the country about 4 times a year, and sometimes he can't call me for days at a time. Early on in our marriage, this fact was VERY hard to me to cope with, even though he'd been doing the same thing before we got married. Several times our long-distance phone calls ended with me in tears and both of us hurting, and it was my fault. Part of me was jealous that he got to travel while I was stuck at home, and part of me resented the fact that he loved his job so much and enjoyed traveling. A very irrational part of me felt that he loved his job more than he loved me.

It has taken a while, but I'm at the point now where his traveling is ok. I still don't like being home by myself for 2 weeks, and I don't like that I can't always talk to him when he's gone. But I'm ok with him being gone. Dare I say it? I might even enjoy the time to myself when I don't have to worry about making dinner (cereal is a staple when he's gone), I don't have to worry about washing dishes (cause I hardly use any), and it takes a lot longer to build up enough laundry to need to run a load. And I can read to my heart's desire without feeling like I'm ignoring him.

I had to change how I reacted to things. I knew that all along, but I have this silly stubborn streak that didn't want to change, I just wanted HIM to change. Now it's ok for him to be gone, or to work late or over weekends. It's not always ideal, but I deal. (see what I did there?)

Now before you go thinking that I had to do all the changing, Jordan has been working on things too. He makes the effort to at least text me if he's going to be home late, most times he calls. When he does have time off, he spends as much of it with me as he can. When he's away, he calls when he can, even if he ends up falling asleep on the phone. Those are the little things that show me he appreciates the changes I've made.

I like to think we have a pretty fantastic marriage, and it just keeps getting better. But every marriage can improve, right? There's no such thing as a perfect marriage. But that doesn't mean we stop trying to achieve perfection. It's the journey that makes it all worth while.

So I want to challenge any married person who might be reading this: Even if you think your marriage is great, don't settle. When we become complacent, thats when we get lazy and the problems get bigger. Always keep working on things. Whether you need to work on communication or intimacy or trust or just taking turns washing dishes, make the effort together.

Don't be afraid to get ideas. The people I listed above are good resources.

That's just something that has been on my heart today. And with Valentine's Day coming up, maybe this is just what somebody needed to hear.

24 Weeks

Well folks, this week marks the 24th week of pregnancy. It's downhill from here... though I will feel like I'm going uphill. But that's normal, right?

Aaron just told me I sound hyper... I have no idea what he's talking about. I am NOT hyper. nopenopenopenopenope.

I HAVE GUMMY BEARS!!!!

Ahem....

So I just recorded my next video for Aaron, the long-lost brother of mine in Virginia. I think it will make him giggle, and anyone else who happens to watch it. Its getting ready for editing right now. Its RENDERING. Which in laymen's terms means MAKING ME WAIT. So I wait. And eat gummy bears. And blog.

Ok, maybe I am a little hyper.

So, good news. In a couple of weeks we will be getting another ultrasound done! (Did I mention that before?) If not, here you go! I can't wait to see this little octopus of mine again!

Speaking of which, there are those who do not believe us when we say we DO NOT KNOW what gender baby is. These folks seem to think that by saying Baby is an octopus, that we are really admitting that Baby is a boy. This is not true. We don't know! And we are not planning to find out either. We want Baby to be a surprise, to us and everyone else, on the day s/he pops out.

No, we won't be changing our minds either, but thanks for asking!

Oh! *kick* Baby likes gummy bears! *kick* * somersault* HI BABY!!!

Ok, this post is getting silly... I think I'll go for now. I think my video is done making me wait. Time to edit!!!

Week Two

Well folks, my second week on the new job is just about over. I must say, this week has gone much more smoothly than last week. Both weeks have gone incredibly fast. At this rate, I'll be delivering this baby before I know it!!

I am tired. My problem is that I am a night owl. On top of that, Jordan has been pulling late nights at work, and I've been staying up for him to get home. Then comes morning. The office hours at work start at 8am, which means I need to at least be conscious by 8 in the case of a phone call.

I am not a morning person. But shhh, don't tell work that. I don't think they know. Let's keep it that way.

A fun thing lately has been sending videos back and forth with my brother, who also has a new job. He is in Virginia, in case you didn't know. I'm used to seeing him, at some point, every day. Now I cannot. So the videos help with the distance. Plus, I hear other people have been watching them too, like friends and other family members, and find them just hilarious.

Yes, other people. I keep you in mind when I shoot my video.

If anyone, besides Aaron, wants to see anything in the video, or wants to ask any questions for me to answer in the video, let me know! I am open to content suggestions, since I sometimes run a little dry in that area. It's weird talking about myself. Very weird. So leave a comment somewhere.

I just got done with a conference call for work. Our web developer is in California, so in order for us all to talk at a semi-decent hour, our conference calls take place in the evenings. This would be fine, if I didn't feel like blowing off every responsibility and going to bed early. But I managed to stay alert for the duration of the phone call, and even actively and intelligently participate.

Another fun thing lately is this: Jordan and I like seeing what we can do to make Baby kick. (For the sake of simplicity, we are referring to Baby as a he. This does not mean we know what Baby's gender is, so don't go all blue on us, ok?) Anyways... This past weekend Jordan sang some Jesus songs to Baby, which resulted in a manic kicking and somersaulting episode, and copious amounts of giggling from Baby's very mature parents. Jordan's favorite way to get Baby kicking is to jiggle my stomach. I dislike this form of Baby stimulation. What woman really WANTS someone to jiggle her stomach??? None that I know of...

In other super fantastic news, we recently found out that our best friends in the whole, wide, God-created earth are HAVING A BABY!!!!! Don't tell them, but I've seen this coming for a while. Shhh. We are super happy for them. Now we just need to figure out how to get them back to Tennessee in the next 9 months so our children can grow up together and be best buds. I am scheming as we speak. (Any local churches need a Pastor?)

We finally have internet set up at home! This is a major milestone for us... it has been 2 years since I have had access to the great Interwebs from my couch. Granted, we only have 5 gigs that has to last us a month, but it allows me to email for work, access the website I'm working on for work, and FACEBOOK! Also, I'll be able to blog more often. Which is of course, the most important thing.

Oh, and Skype. Sometimes.

You will have to forgive the quirky nature of this post... I had a nap this afternoon, but I still feel completely worn out. I have corrected SO many typos in this blog so far, just from my fingers hitting random keys instead of the correct ones. Fingers get tired too.

Ok, I think I have babbled enough for now. I'll be putting together my video tomorrow, in response to Aaron's latest. Hopefully I will get it posted tomorrow as well, but we shall see. I also need to clean my house and cook for the company coming over for dinner tomorrow night.

Sigh, so many responsibilities as a wife and mommy...

Goodnight!

Tim Tebow

First of all, I'd like to congratulate the Broncos on their win this weekend. I didn't watch the game, but from what I've heard, it was pretty epic. Could the Broncos make it to the Superbowl? We will just have to wait and see.

I have heard a lot about QB Tim Tebow recently. Not just about his incredible arm, but his open Christianity. It's not every day you hear of a football player thanking God for each successful play. For that matter, you don't often hear about football players mentioning God positively, period. So Tebow is refreshing in that light. But I have a few concerns.

First of all, are we so starved for a professed Christian that we cling to every time Tebow bows his head? I understand that he is a role model for sports enthusiasts and other players who have been criticized for their beliefs, and "tebowing" has provided a way for players to acknowledge Christ when they otherwise are not allowed to. I am glad for this. Censorship of Christianity is a very real thing, and it won't be going away any time soon. So any bit of encouragement is good.

But with that said, are we putting Tebow on a pedestal because of this? He is only human. Granted, a very talented human, who has brought his team to the playoffs. But how many other teams are in the playoffs? How many other quarterbacks work as hard as Tebow? Let alone the other players on each team. Or are we making Tebow into an icon of public Christianity, and lifting him up higher than he should be? Are we making him an idol?

Take a look at this.

This concerns me. I don't know if it bothers you, but when a man is compared to the God of the Bible, something isn't right.

What happens when Tebow does something to shatter this glossy image of himself? He is only a man, and prone to making mistakes just like the rest of us. Are we setting ourselves up for a huge disappointment when this shining example proves to be only human after all?

Let's keep things in perspective here. Tim Tebow is a very talented quarterback, he plays for a talented team, and has had a very good season this year. But he is not the first, and he won't be the last. Cheer for him, for his team (if you must), but remember he is just a man.

And remember who we should be lifting up and telling the world about. Here's a thought. If we sent as many tweets about Jesus Christ as have been sent about Tim Tebow, what an amazing witness that would be!!

A New Year

It has been 2012 for 9 days. I'm still not completely comfortable with writing 2012 on my checks, but lucky for me, I don't write many checks!

This year has brought with it so many blessings, I don't even know where to begin. I suppose I should start with last year.

In the last few months of 2011, a lot has happened in my family.

First, Jordan and I are expecting our first child in May, and on Christmas Eve, Jordan was able to feel the baby kick for the first time. If that's not a blessing, I don't know what is. We are both so excited for this little bundle!

My brother got a job at the Patomic Conference of Seventh-day Adventist doing what he loves. A lot of his new life in Virginia was up in the air, even up to the day he started work. He didn't have an apartment, nor the means to get one. But the Lord blessed, and he was able to find a place within his first week, and had the money he needed.

A couple of weeks before the new year, Jordan told me that a local ministry that he works with was looking for a communications director. He had recommended me for the position. We went on vacation, and I didn't get a chance to call about the job until last week. The job was still available!

I had an interview with In Discipleship last Wednesday, and on Thursday I was offered the job, and asked if I could start that afternoon! This job is such a blessing for us, because not only is it supplemental income for my family, but it is part time, and I am able to work from home. Once the baby comes, I will still be able to work, putting in only a couple of hours a day. I can still be a stay-at-home mom! I think it will be a lot of fun.

With this job and the extra income, Jordan and I will soon be able to get internet at the house (which I will need for work). I am hoping to be able to blog a lot more. We have many changes coming, and our families are spread out all over the US. I would like this to be a connection between us and family, especially after the baby arrives.

I used to blog daily before I started college. I've really been missing it lately. The urge to write hits me really hard sometimes! I want to start writing daily again. It was such a blessing for me when I wrote before, even if no one else read what I wrote. Writing has always been a kind of outlet for me, a place to me to get my thoughts in order, work through things, or expound on things that made me stop and say "Wow!" I hope you won't mind if I start again.

I already have a few posts floating around in my head that I might try to get written down before I forget them. So watch for posts about Tebow and cloth diapers!