12/31/04

Hmm...

You know, I was just thinking about stuff.... funny that.... anyways, I was just thinking...
Why is it we have more patience when we are waiting for a red light to turn green, then we do waiting at a stop sign for traffic to ease up? Normally we wait just as long, so what's the difference?
And why is it that there are traffic lights at intersections that really dont need them, and there aren't lights where there should be?

Hmmm.......

12/29/04

My Child...

My child, I love you
I'll show you how much
With all I can do
Or with one simple touch
I'll show you I care
In small quiet ways
Like bright, sweet sunbeams
To lighten your day.
I'll show you in bright ways
With many colors
In every sunset
Each one like no other.
I'll show you My love
With blessings so sweet
Every smile that you see
Every person you meet.
I'll show you My love
In every way.
Every sight, every sound
Is Me trying to say
I love you, My child
With all that I am
I'll continue to show you
Every way that I can.

What if...

What if we never grew up. What if we were perpetually 10?

Life would be simpler. We wouldnt have to worry about work or paychecks or bills. Cars would be obsolete, our bikes could take us to the ends of the earth. Getting through fourth grade would be the biggest of our worries, no SATs, or getting accepted into the college of our choice. There would be a lot fewer broken hearts, because boys would still have cooties. Sundays wouldnt be full of chores, but watching cartoons at 6am, in no hurry for anything. Snowdays wouldnt be spent finishing up late homework, but sledding down the tallest hill we could find. Arguments would consist of who got the Legos out first, and who should be responsible for putting them away. Siblings would be our best friends, and our worst enemies. Parents would still know everything. Bed time would be 9pm, no questions asked. We would be energetic without the need for caffiene, and would wonder why our parents drank so much coffee. World events would be insignificant compared to the Green Army Men vs. Polly Pocket battle raging in our bedroom. Barbie would still date Ken.


Or what if we lived like a cat?

Our daily routine would be sleep, sleep, eat, sleep. We could come and go as we pleased, get whatever we wanted by crying. Get our food served to us at every meal. We would rule the house. We would be free to walk wherever we wanted, and not always on the floor. We wouldnt have to do anything unless we wanted to. I could get used to that...

What if? Any other ideas? :-)

ttfn

Good Morning!

*yawn* Hello!

I am sitting here, up and ready for the day, but hardly what some would consider "Awake". I was up late last night, and was woken up earlier then I would have liked this morning.... But it's all good... I now have my coffee sitting beside me... if it can be called a cup of coffee, it has a similar consistancy with tar. It is the bottom of the pot, sat there so long it's cold, no milk in the fridge, hazelnut flavored, TAR. (with sugar!) But! It will do the job! Good thing I'm not picky about my coffee, huh?

Hmm, I guess I wasnt to aware of the dribbling coffeepot, was just informed that there is a mess on the counter from my coffee... So I suppose I should go clean that up.

Have a wonderful Wednesday, my friends!
ttfn!

Can you picture it?

I want to paint a picture for you of something I saw recently that just stuck out so vividly in my mind... I want to share it.



Picture yourself in the driver's seat of a car. You are on a freeway shortly after rush hour. The sun has set recently, the natural light is just dark enough to need headlights, but just light enough for them to not do much good. You are in the middle of a city, so there are street lights shining their orange glow down on the road infront of you. It's raining slightly, just enough to need your wipers. You signal to turn off the freeway and head home. As you drive away from the city, the light from the streetlights fade, but the light from the tail lights infront of you begins to brighten. The headlights coming at you become more visible. Your own headlights have turned into beams, and not light clouds of light. The closer you drive towards home, the fewer cars you meet. You turn off of the main road, and onto a smaller road. Once again you turn, and soon you are the only car on the road. It's dark now. The rain has stopped, you remember to turn off your wipers. You flick on your highbeams. Looking out of the window, you see whisps of cloud overhead, and beyond them, you see the first stars twinkling far, far away. The moon is rising to your left now. It's half-way there. The craters that make up it's face are clear and dark. Watching the road ahead of you, you see the flick of animal eyes cross the road aways ahead of you. It was mid-height, could have been a small deer, or a large dog. By the time you come up to the place, there is no sign of the animal. The air is still except for a small breeze how and then that blows dead leaves across your path. It's very quiet except for the sound of your breathing and the hum of the car. You make your last turn onto a dirt road, the final leg of your trek home. The bright headlights illuminate all the leaves along the side of the road, and every pebble and pothole in the road. Finally you come to your own driveway, turning in, over the knoll, and around the bend, you see the light in the yard, welcoming you home. You turn off the highbeam lights, and pull into your parking slot between the truck and the van. Turning off your lights and the engine, you sit and listen to the silence for a minute. Gathering your things, you climb out of the car and into the chrisp, cool night air. Above you the stars are shining brightly, you feel like you could be swallowed up into their brilliance. The moon winks from behind the trees at the edge of the yard. There are rustlings in the woods far to your right, probably a lone squirrel or owl. You walk to the door, turn the key, and there you are. Home.

Did you see it?

Late night thoughts...

Good evening.
It is 11:49 pm as I am beginning this, on a Tuesday night.
My computer is sitting in front of me on my bed, my water bottle is beside me, half empty. I have only one light on, and the glow of the screen.

And I'm thinking. I know what you are thinking. "Ashley, you know thinking can be dangerous..." But this time, it's ok. :-)

A lot has happened to me in the last month or two. It makes me stop and think, why? What did I do to deserve all this, both the good and the bad? What made me so special?

Over a month ago I pretty much lost two people I considered to be my best friends. I dont know what happened, they just decided to not talk to me. That really hurt.

Another friend seemed to be ignoring me for a reason I couldn't figure out at first. I was afraid I was losing her too. We've since talked about it, and everything is squared away. I've kept that friend, so far.

One of my closest guy friends has been a steady confidant through a lot lately. He listens to all my troubles, and gives me advice from a guy's point of view. He has recently told me that he also has feelings for me. I am flattered, but I just can't return his feelings. Right now, I am trying my hardest to keep things as they used to be with him, but it's hard. (If you're reading this, I am so sorry. I'm still trying.)

And I know I'm losing another friend right now. He and I have been through you-know-what and back, and somehow kept a friendship going. But it is seriously slipping right now. We've shared some harsh words, we both have hurt feelings, we both are angry, and we both are not trying as hard as we could be to see things from the other's point of view. I've done my part, the perverbial ball is in his court now to do with as he pleases. I know things will work out for the best, I'm just afraid of what the best will be.

On a brighter note, last night my youngest sister decided, as I was heading to bed, that I was THE person that she wanted to spend time with. If I tried to set her down, she's cry. If I tried to give her to Mom, she'd cry. All she wanted was to be held by me. She would wrap her little baby arms around my neck, and cry into my shoulder. If I got her distracted with something else and snuck into my room, she would follow me crying "Ash! Ash! Ash!" It made my heart melt! I finally had to put her down and go to bed, at 11:30 at night. It made my heart break to hear her crying, but it felt SO GOOD to know she loved me and wanted me. There's just something about little kids... They call it "the terrible twos" but she's not that terrible... just two!

And today, I talked to the subject of my affection, and once again, he surprised me! He is planning to go with ADRA to help the people affected by the tsunamis and the earthquake. That really meant something to me. And then he proceeded to make me blush and grin as he tends to do sometimes. :-) (Yes, you, I am still grinning.)

Speaking of the earthquake and following tsunamis, it breaks my heart to hear the rising death toll. All those innocent people, their lives snuffed out in an instant, their homes no longer standing, some not even exsisting anymore. I am so blessed to be where I am right now, in a warm room, on a soft bed, with heat and electricity; those people have nothing now. Parents have lost their children, children have lost their parents. Homes, resorts, whole islands have been leveled. Many people had friends or relatives in the area, and dont even know if they are still alive. The agony those people must be going through. I have no right to complain about my life. Right now, my life is easy.

Say a prayer as you read this, or as you go about your day, for the people in Indonesia, Thailand, Sri Lanka, India, and all the other countries affected by the quake. And say a prayer for all the workers who are helping search for loved ones in the mess. None of their lives will ever be the same.

late night thoughts...

12/24/04

Christmas Preperation!!

'Twas the day before Christmas

and all through the house

every creature was cleaning,

right down to the mouse!

The shelves and the mantle were dusted with care,

For in a few hours, the relatives would be there!

I in my sneakers

And Mom in her jeans

Had just settled in

to the cleaning routine.

When at the front door there arose such a clatter.

I jumped and ran to see what was the matter.

And there on the stoop stood the relatives, oh my!

My mother set down her broom with a sigh.

Everyone was here, and the house was a fright.

But we all settled in to enjoy the night.


Merry Christmas!!

12/20/04

Blizzard Update 2.0

Well, the snow has stopped. But over the course of the flurries, we accumulated 3-4 inches of white stuff!! Yay!!!! Now, if we can only get it to last through Christmas...

Blizzard Update

The plan is working!!! It has been snowing here since about 7:30 last night!!!

Finally, there are no bare, brown spots on our lawn, or under the trees even. Everything is white!!!

Must go, it feels like Christmas at last, so I must go wrap presents.

Tootles!

12/19/04

Operation Blizzard Commences.

Hello my dear, snowless friends!!
It is now 5 days before Christmas, and I still see very little, if any, snow. Problem!! "It's beginning to look a lot like...." Springtime!! Where's the snow?

Traditional Christmas songs are irrelevant this year, it seems... A very sad, sad thing. Christmas just isn't Christmas without snow! (No matter what you may say, Jordan.)

So, I hereby declare "Operation Blizzard" to be kicked in, FULL THROTTLE!! For the next 5 days, I say we should think SNOW, dream SNOW, and SING SNOW!

"It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas"
"I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas"
"Let It Snow"

And any other snowy songs you can come up with.

It's coming down to the wire folks... Let's see if sheer willpower can turn this weather pattern around!!!

Hugs and love to all this holiday season!

12/16/04

The Inimitable Has Returned!!

Hey Folks! Sorry I haven't posted in a while... life got away from me and I was trying to catch up!

You know, there are a few things in my life that just make me so happy..... One is completely and totally pulling the wool over the eyes of my entire family and extended family, and then surprizing them when they least expect me.

This past weekend, December 12th to be exact, my family was having Christmas with my Mom's family. The party was being held in Freeport Maine, at my Aunt's house. When planning started for this get-together, I told everyone from the start that I wouldnt be able to make it, I had a birthday party that weekend that I had promised to attend. (Love you Adah!) A week before the scheduled event, I confided in my Dad and my brother that I still wanted to attend, and would work it out so I could. But they couldnt tell ANYBODY. And they didnt.

The day before the party, Saturday, as I was getting ready to head to Adah's, my Mom told me she REALLY wished I could come. I told her I did too, but that I would see her Sunday night when they got home. Quite a good performance, if I do say so myself. I tried not to giggle as I gave my Dad a hug and headed about my merry way.

Sunday I headed out from Adah's, giving myself enough time to get to Aunt Shelley's just in time to make a grand entrance. Everyone knew I was busy that weekend, no one was expecting me. I pulled in, walked up to the door, and as soon as I stepped in the house, a chorus of "ASHLEY!!" rang up. My Mom and my aunt were in shock that I was there, my sisters were ecstatic, Sam, the baby, gave me a big hug and a sweet smile.

I got just the reaction I was going for. It made me happy. :-)

The second thing that really makes me happy happened just a couple days ago. I was home watching the three little girls, Hannah, Leah, and Sam. Sam was grumpy. So H and L gave her a bath, got completely soaked, and had fun doing it. When Sam got out, I put her in her fuzzy jammies (the kind that is SO CUTE on little kids) and the big girls put on Lady And The Tramp. Sam climbed up in my arms, settled her little head down on my shoulder, and watched the movie until she just couldnt stay awake any longer. She fell asleep, right there, on my shoulder. I had been in a not-so-great mood myself that day, but having Sam fall asleep on me like that just made everything that was bugging me fade away. It's funny how little kids can do that...

So yeah, it's just little things like that that light up my life. Surprizes and sleeping 2-yr olds...
Life is good. :-)

11/25/04

New Favorite CD

Go look this one up.

www.bethanydillon.com

Her music is wonderful! And she is only 15!!

I highly recomment the songs "For My Love" for the girls and "All I Need" for anyone.

Check it out!!

11/24/04

TURKEY DAY!

Hey everyone! I know it's the day BEFORE the stuffing, but since I wont be here tomorrow, I'm saying HI now!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

Ok, now that I have that out of my system...

Gotta run! Hugs to all.

11/23/04

Book Recommendation!

Hi to all my favorite people! (You know who you are)

And a hello to everyone else as well!

As most of you know, I read voraciously. The latest book to pass through my hands was one called "When Dreams Come True" written by Eric and Leslie Ludy.

It's the story of their romance, from beginning to end. The beginning doesn't start when they met, it began when they were growing up. And it didn't end when they got married, it still continues. It's a wonderful story and an inspiration. It proves that there can be true romance still in today's society, and that there really IS someone made especially for each one of us. If you are in a dating relationship, or even if you're not, I recommend reading this book.

Thats all!
Tootles!

11/22/04

Still Listening?

"There was a time when I thought that I had You
figured out
I told You before and I'll say once more
Now and then I have my doubts
I'll never pretend to know what You are doing
It's true that You move in mysterious ways

I looked for You in
The fire and the wind
But You weren't there as far as I could see
I thought I'd hear You shout
But then I figured it out
That all along You're whispering to me"
Still Listening ~ Third Day


How many times do we ask God to show himself in a big way, just so we can know He is there? How many times to we ask for some sign that He cares for us, something out of the ordinary? And how many times do we get dissapointed when we dont get that big, miraculous sign? All too often. You know why? Because God doesn't need to shout to be heard by us, as much as we think He should. He whispers His love to us every day. Don't believe me? Think about it. You woke up this morning, didn't you? You saw someone smile at you, didn't you? You felt a breeze blow by, or saw the sun come out or felt the rain fall on your face. You felt love for someone, or felt the love someone has for you. You saw a rainbow, a flower bloom, a baby born. These are all little miracles that wouldn't happen at all if God did not exsist, or didn't love us. All too often these little "whisperings" get over looked when all we want is a lightning flash or an audible voice. It's the little things that we take for granted that really show how God cares.

So next time you feel like you need a "sign" that God cares at all, stop and ask yourself, "Did I wake up this morning?" Without a doubt, you'll have your answer.

11/6/04

Concert update

Hello my friends!
The concert has come and gone, and it was AWESOME! Between my brother and I, we have well over 200 pictures. As soon as we can, we will go through them all and pick out the best ones and compile them all into a web album. Once we do that, I'll post the link here for you all to see.
Unfortunatly, I can't stay long tonight, I think I am coming down with a cold, and I need to make up some lost sleep. As I said, I'll post when I have the album up, or maybe sooner!

Take care everyone.
ttfn

11/4/04

Off to the concert!

Ok, I am off to the concert! I'll be gone until sometime tomorrow. When I get home, I'll post some pics from the concert, and I'll tell how it was.

Gotta run, my brother is pushing me out the door.

Cheers!
Ash

10/29/04

It's Out Of My Hands....again!!!

"There you go changing my plans again
There you go shifting my sands again
For reasons I don't understand again
Lately I don't have a clue
Just when I start liking what I see
There you go changing my scenery
I never know where you're taking me
But I'm trying just to follow you

It's out of my hands
It's out of my reach
It's over my head
And it's out of my league
There's too many things
That I don't understand
So it's into your will
And it's out of my hands"
~Out Of My Hands by Matthew West

This is my theme song! I've thought I had my plans all set SO MANY TIMES, but in the end, something always happens to change them. It really shows that I have no control over how my life goes, I just have to go where He leads me. It's not as easy as it sounds, and more than once I've come back with a broken heart because I set my mind and my heart in one direction, but it didn't work out as I had planned. It's something very easy for me to do, but very hard for me to admit and fix. Every time something goes not as I planned and messes up MY idea of my life, I play this song. It reminds me that there is a bigger and better plan for me when what I think up myself.

Tootles!



Condo or Heart????

Both!

I was talking with my friend Alyssa (Hi Judd!) and the topic of boyfriends came up. I mentioned that right now the "Boyfriend Apartment" of my heart was vacant. This led to a very good discussion about the Condo of our Hearts. I will elaborate. :-)

My heart is like a condo building, with different apartments for different people in my life. There are the dorm rooms for all my friends; the Family condo, with rooms for all my siblings and extended family; the Boyfriend Apartment; and several guest rooms.

The Friend Dorm rooms. They are split up into Best Friend rooms and Friend Rooms. The Best Friend rooms surround my private dwelling, always just a call away, or even a thought away. The Friend rooms are close, but not as close as the Best Friend rooms. All together, these rooms tend to change owners often as my friends move on in their lives. They may move from a Best Friend room to a Friend room, or vice versa. Or, in very hard situations, may move out altogether.

The Boyfriend Apartment has been vacant for a while now. It might be a little intimidating at the moment. It needs upkeep, TLC, and commitment. A couple of guys have taken a peek inside the door, but in the end decided to just sign the guestbook and promise to "keep in touch."

Alyssa went on to ask me where my husband would one day take up residence. I told her, The Honeymoon Suite, of course! When that happens, the Boyfriend Apartment will be turned into bedrooms for the kids!

But in order to get to any of these rooms, you have to go through the Master Suite, lived in by my Landlord, Jesus Christ. You have to stop here before going into any of the other rooms or apartments. You have to be cleared for entry before taking up residence.

There is a BIG room in the back full of file cabinet after file cabinet. These are all my memories over my 18 years. Some are a little dusty, others are so new they haven't been added to any drawer just yet and are just sitting in a pile right inside the door.
But most important in my eyes is the guestbook right inside the front door. All the people I have come in contact with throughout my life have signed this book, and their picture is there too. There are categories in this book; "crushes," "friends," "acuaintences," "boyfriends," "best friends," "awesome adults," and a miscellaneous category. I know each name in this book, though some have been in there so long, I may not remember them right off.
So there you have it, the Condo of my Heart. Feel free to stop in anytime!
God Bless!

Like Coffee Icecream?

Then have I got something for you!
My Mom and I love our coffee, and are always finding new ways to "dress it up." Sometimes she adds these yummy flavored syrups, hazelnut, french vanilla, it makes it yummy...

But recently she has come up with a brilliant new way to make coffee. And it is GOOD!

In a large travel mug (as I said, we take our coffee SERIOUSLY) add two spoonfuls of instant coffee and about 4 or 5 teaspoons of sugar, to taste. DONT ADD WATER! Here is the fun part, instead of adding water, fill the mug with cold whole milk. It takes a little bit to mix in the coffee and sugar, but once everything is mixed, it tastes like a cross between a Dunkin's coolata and melted coffee icecream! SO good. I have one sitting beside me as I type!

So, if you are as into coffee as my Mom and I are, give this a try. You can fix the measurements to fit a small cup too, not too hard to do.

Enjoy!