3/31/05

Must...Find...Coffee...

Ok, before I begin writing, I need to find a mug and some coffee because.... well, just because! Please hold, you're time is not very important to us.....



(elevator music plays)



Ok, I am back, and with my lovely coffee....Now I can write.

It's beautiful outside!!! Last I checked it was 50*, and that was a couple of hours ago. It's sunny! The snow is melting! It's just beautiful!

My fishie is coming tomorrow! (Well, she's really my brother's girlfriend, but hey, she's my fishie!) I just need to figure out if I can meet her halfway, or if I have to drive all the way to her house to get her. It's a loooooong drive to her house, so I'm hoping I only have to go halfway. But the alone time will be nice either way. Plug in some music, set the cruise control (only on the highway) and just go.... ahhhhh. It's a good thing I love driving!

Let's see, what's happening today... Not much I dont think. Once Mom gets home we have to go pick up her car at the garage. Getting inspected. She's been driving my car! Poor Mom, I drove yesterday, and Dad drove last night, Mom has to move the seat forwards about a foot before she can even reach the pedals! I got in to drive yesterday after she came to pick me up, and I crunched my knees into the steering column! But thats ok. I love my Mum!

Sam is watching Shark Tale again. She even SAYS it! It's only a rented movie, but she likes it so much, we're probably gonna have to buy it before too long. She's adorable. She goes over to the DVD shelf and asks for it. Such a smart cookie!

Well, time to make a chocolate milk for my munchkin. ttfn!

Hugs!

3/30/05

Wayward Wanderer Returns!

Hello my friends!

I am home from NYC! Wow, what an experience that was! None of us really knew what we were doing or where we were going. You should have seen us trying to figure out which train we wanted!! We had so much trouble with our metro cards too... totally nuts.

But yeah, we went down for a prayer service at the Brooklyn Tabernacle. That is a gorgeous building. The service itself was very...interesting. I felt extremly out of place. Way too many people in one closed place. I couldnt even hear myself think. It certainly was an experience. I can't wait for my prayer retreat at Camp Lawroweld... in the woods... where it's quiet. :-)

I AM SUCH A HICK! HA!

On another note, I got home today, and found an envelope on my bed. Upon opening it, I squealed, and ran to show my parents. It was the results from the pre-GED!! I passed!!! I FLEW past!!! To pass, I needed at least a 450 average. My average was 636!!! (my highest score was a 710.) I am SO excited!!! Now, all I have to do is register for the GED, and take it!! I'm almost done!!! YAY!!!! PRAY FOR ME! I still have to pass the GED. Once I get registered for that, I'll let you know when I'm taking the test, and all the info after that.

I think I'm going to close for now. I'm wicked tired from my trip, and I want to do some reading before I go to sleep. Need to stretch too, been sitting almost ALL DAY....

Hmm. My knee hurts too, come to think of it.

Goodnight!
Hugs!

3/26/05

Saturday Closing

Well, it was an over all good day. We didn't feel up for going to church, most of us still getting over this bug. I slept in until 8-ish, which felt good. I actually slept better last night than I had all week. Felt soo good! When I did get up, the sun was shining, and I could actually hear birds outside!

I spent a portion of the day out with the family, but after a while, I just felt this urge to close myself off from the family with a book, something I haven't done in a LONG time. Mom recommended some good books, so I grabbed a mug of my yummy cran-raspberry juice, the books, and I crawled into bed to read. (someday I'm gonna have a wonderful alcove with shelves upon shelves of books, and a nice comfy place to just curl up and read the day away... ahhhh)

About an hour and a half later I finished the book, came out to replenish my drink, stretch my legs and get a little lunch. Then to dove back in for another book, which it almost done. Supper was ready before I could finish it, but I promise you, it will be finished before I go to sleep tonight. heehee!

We just finished watching Finding Neverland, which is a WONDERFUL MOVIE!!! It's the second time I've watched it since we bought it Thursday (you can do the math) and I love it more each time I see it.

Oh! I just remembered that I forgot to tell you how the test went on Friday! It went well, I think. I got there at 9:00.... the test started at 9:00. I ran up to the room, and got to the doorway breathless. "Are you Ashley?" met me. I nodded, and took a seat in the last empty chair. There were about 12 other people there for the test, and only one other girl.

First, they showed us a video about using the calculator, and how to fill in the answer sheet. Kinda boring, but I was glad for the bit on the calculator since I've never really used once for school. (Always was just trying to write words on it upside down)

The first part of the test was, just my luck, math. It was in two part, with the calculator, and without. It took me a few minutes to get my mind to focus, the silence in the room was incredibly loud, and the words and numbers seemed to float aimlessly across the pages as if they hadn't a care in the world. Very frustrating when you know you are on a time limit! But over all, I think I did OK.

Next up was the reading section, followed by the grammar section. Those were easy once I got the words to stop floating again. But I was still one of the last to leave, only because I took so long on the essay portion. While others wrote only a paragraph or two, I actually ended up going on to the second provided page... I kinda felt foolish, but hey, once I start writing, it's hard to stop. (as you have seen...)

I hope to get the results in the mail this week. There are three different outcomes, I could either A, pass with flying colors and get recommended for the very next GED exam; B, pass by centimeters, but should probably study a bit more before taking the GED; or C, fail.

I'm hoping I can just get this over with and take the exam. But the closer I get, the more nervous I get. I tell ya, once this is over, I'm gonna be SO ecstatic!

So, I think thats whats been happening lately, at least within the last 24 hours!

I do believe I'm going to turn in for the night soon... (Sorry, been reading wonderful novels set in Cornwall, lovely language. Seriously gonna visit there someday!! I have to! Who would like to join me on a tour of England and Scotland? It's my DREAM to go there!! heehee)

Ok, leaving now. haha!

Hugs!

3/24/05

What a wonderful day!

All the snow we got this morning is GONE! The sun is shining! It's warm enough to have the door open! (not quite 80 though...) It's just an all around reasonable day!

I got to take a nap, after I spent some quality time with my pen and a pad of paper, just getting some thoughts out. My brother actually made me a wonderful chocolate milk. (Thanks Aaron!) And I didnt have to go to PT after all. Much too weak, and if I have any of this stupid bug in me still, I dont want to get the doc sick.

Headed down to the church finally, in a little while, and taking down all of my brother's new sound equipment. Awesome stuff there! Even I'm excited to have it here at last, and I'm not even that into all that! Ha!

So yeah, even with questions running through my mind, I still had a pretty good day after all. Hey, the sun is shining!

I'm in search of a verse to leave you with...

Aha!
2 Corinthians 4:7-9 :
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

Just remember, no matter what comes your way, we have that treasure still.

Thats true for me right now, "perplexed, but not in dispair." But God's love and power is holding me up right now. He is keeping the smile on my face. He is giving me the strength to press on, and to not give up. :-)

Forever hugs!

Thursday Dawning....White

It snowed last night. But apparently its light, so it won't last long, which is GOOD.

Can't stay long. Got another pt appointment today, and I'm taking Hannah down to the church to help me clean.

I think I'm finally over this bug!

Hugs!

3/23/05

News!

I got a call from Art Pruess, from camp. Finally I got my interview! I didn't fall between the cracks after all! He said I should be getting something in the mail soon, I hope thats a good thing. :-) I can't wait for camp!

Time to go for now, sleepy time.

Still hugs!

The end of the day...

What a day. I haven't had such a rotten day in a long time, stupid stomach bug. Yeah, it got me. I spent all day in bed, so now I'm wicked sore. I think I'm gonna stay up all night and watch chick flicks. hehe. If I can stomach it, I really want a hot chocolate too... we'll see how things go. So far, all I've had today was water. Every joint aches. blech.

Tomorrow is Thursday. (duh)

Friday I go in for that pre-GED test. Hopefully that goes well. I so much want to just get this over with and get on to college apps. I still need to get a hold of Pastor Bob too, find out if I have a job this summer or not. I'm wondering if my application just fell through the cracks. Hopefully not! My summer would not be the same without Camp. I can't wait until June 10th!

I think I'm gonna go for now. Need to stretch my legs some more. Don't think I'll be going my pt stretches tonight...blah.

tired, but everlasting Hugs!

It's Wednesday...wow...

Well, no work today. The whole family has got some sort of bug, it's got everyone down. No work next week either, I get to go to NYC! Yay!

Right now, I am bored out of my mind. I'd eat breakfast, but I'm not hungry. I'd read, but I'm afraid I'd fall asleep. lol

The poor kiddos, Sam is wiped out and sleeping on the couch. She didnt get much sleep last night at all. Leah has this bug as of first thing this morning, so she's down and out in the recliner. Aaron is fine, cause he spends his days up in his room away from us sickkies. Dont worry, Bro, you are next. muahahahahahaha

Ah! Sam's awake! And seemingly feeling OK. That is a good sign! The quarentine will soon be over!

Time to go look for something to do.
Hugs!

3/22/05

ugh....

Yup, I'm feeling blue at the moment. Today has had some serious ups and downs. Right now....is a down.

Sometimes I just feel like my thoughts and opinions mean nothing, like people think I have no idea what I'm talking about, even when I'm talking about myself. Really bugs me when I'll say something, say to my sisters, and they'll completely ignore me, and act oblivious to anything I've said... yeah, I know, they are little sisters, it's their job. Still bugs me.

Aaron does it too.

And Jeremy. :-p

Makes me sometimes wonder if I even said anything, or if I just thought I did... really frustrating.

But anyways!

On the way home tonight after work, the sun was setting behind me as I drove, and when I came to the one spot on 127 where you can see the wonderful landscape and Mt. Kearsarge. The whole valley in there was just glowing orange and gold. The trees infront of me were just shining. The sun in my side mirror was round and bright. It was just so pretty!

Now for some not so good news, poor Sammy has some sort of stomach bug...gonna be a long night for Mom and Dad...Hannah had the same thing Sunday night...I hope it stops here and doesnt get the rest of us...Sam is adorable right now, just standing in the middle of the living room with her blanket wrapped around her, looking like a little angel. So sweet...

Mommy's and Daddy's are awesome.

I could never be a nurse.

I hope either my kids never get sick, or my hubby is good with that kind of stuff.

Anyways!

I'm gonna head off for now, bedtime soon me thinks, and I have a phone call to look forward to tomorrow! :-)

Hugs!

Wahoo!!

I got home from work today and was greeted with a message!

Second Start called, the place where I'm doing all this GED stuff. They want me to come in on Friday to take the pre-GED test!! If I pass this, then its on to the GED!! Yippie!

OR, this test will tell them if I need to take classes after all, and which classes. Which is OK too. But as I've said before, if I can get off with no classes, and get finished with this stuff even sooner, I'll be HAPPY!

So, I should probably not stay much longer right now. I JUST got home from work, and I'm sure family would like to see me a little. Plus, my tummy is rumbling. Time for supper, me thinks!

Hugs!

Spring, Spring, a BEAUTIFUL Thing!

It's another beautiful day in the neighborhood! The sun is shining, the air is warm(er), and the snow is melting!! Haha! Apparently there have been rumors of a storm coming in later this week, but all I can find is reports of possible rain, which is FINE with me!! Rain will help the snow melt! Though, rain will also make our road even more muddy then it already is. As it is now, it's getting close to the consistancy of melted fudge. With rain, it would quickly become chocolate pudding. POTHOLES GALORE! Wahoo!

With spring comes the inevitable Spring Cleaning. Mom has already begun with that. The house smells like Pinesol and visions of paint are dancing in our heads. And once again, I look around my tiny bedroom, crowded with furniture that mostly only serves as a catch-all, and my plain white walls, pockmarked with tack holes, and my used-to-be-blue-now-stained-by-old-dog carpet, and I just want to do SOMETHING!

My two windows are currently blocked by tall furniture, since I have no spare wall space for them. My floor is littered with birdseed and litter from the canary in the corner, I've had the same bedspread for the past 2 years. (not too bad, but again, it IS spring...)

I've always wanted to paint my walls green.

Hardwood floors would be nice too. With a rug.

And shelves... lot of shelves...

"I have a dream..."

But I'm hopefully leaving for college in the fall, so why do a bunch of renovations to my room if I'm going to be leaving soon? I'm sure Leah is going to adopt this room as soon as I'm out, she'd love a room of her own.

I wonder how she feels about green walls...

But I'm going to camp in a couple of months, I won't even be here to enjoy the green walls....

Grr, I hate being reasonable sometimes.

Maybe I'll just vacuum.

Hmmm.....

3/21/05

Grrr.....

Ok, yeah, I'm angry. Just dont ask me why because you REALLY dont want to hear about it...

Today was OK for the most part. I made three separate trips downtown, beginning at 8:30, and getting home from the last at 8pm.

The very best part of my day was talking to my someone special. (is it possible to get someone sick via ESP? hmmm *wink*) He can make me smile without even trying to. :-)
I can't wait to see him! Those of you who are going to the prayer retreat in May are gonna have a hard time of keeping me focused, Jordan comes home the Monday after the retreat. YAY!!!

I got to talk to my Fishie today, another one who can cheer me up easily. She actually got me laughing tonight when I was really P.O.ed. Congrats, FIshFish! lol

I mentioned a little while ago that I was reading Job. I've finished it, a couple of mini-post-its and a lot of highlighting later. A good book, though kinda hard to figure out. I think I want to get a commentary on it sometime. I have decided that I want to get a vanity plate for my car that says Elihu, who was the youngest of the friends who came to see Job, and the wisest one. Elihu knew that wisdom didnt necessarily come with age. He had a lot of good stuff to say too. Who knows if I ever will get the plate, but it would be fun. :-) I'm starting in on Isaiah now, I know there's some great gems in there, I just need to take the time to find them!

I finally red the BOOK "A Walk To Remember" over the weekend. (yes, I read it in two days) It's a good book, but the movie is better. The book is told by Landon, who is 57, remembering back to when he was 17 and a senior in highschool. He kinda annoyed me in the book. Anyways, the story takes place in the 50's, so its totally different, and kinda hard to follow at times. Some things are completely corny. But it did make me cry, though not nearly as much as the movie did, I was sobbing when I watched that! Over all, good book... but I think once through was enough for me...
~There ya go, your unofficial book review of the....year~

I get to go to work tomorrow!!! I haven't been there in three weeks, due to being sick. blech. But I think I'm OK now... as long as Jordan doesnt get ME sick now... I'll get to work this week, but next week I'll need off again because I'm going to New York City!! Yay!! I'm going with some ladies who are major supporters of the Extreme Teens... but I'm the only "teen" going! I am very much looking forward to it. Will let you all know how it goes!

Well, it's 10:30... and I DO have work tomorrow... so I guess I should go to bed. My back hurts anyways, and I'm still not in the best of moods because of earlier... I could use some sweet dreams tonight. lol

hugs!

Totally Amazing Song.

"You put me here for a reason
You have a mission for me
You knew my name and You called it
Long before I learned to breathe
Sometimes I feel disappointed
By the way I spend my time
How can I further Your kingdom
When I'm so wrapped up in mine

In the blink of an eye
That is when
I'll be closer to you then I've ever been
Time will fly
But until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive for the blink of an eye

Although I'm living a good life
Can my life be something great?
I have to answer the question
Before it's too late

In the blink of an eye
That is when
I'll be closer to you then I've ever been
Time will fly
But until then
I'll embrace every moment I'm given
There's a reason I'm alive for the blink of an eye


If I give the very best of me
That becomes my legacy
So tell me what am I waiting for?
What am I waiting for?"

~MercyMe

3/20/05

*looking at my calendar*

HAPPY SPRING!!!

Yes, today was the first official day of spring, and it certainly felt like it! I was 50* today! Maybe even more then that downtown... (those of you who are cold in 80 degree weather, just hush. lol)

So, today was a little better then yesterday.... I had good food! mmm, yummy chocolate-dipped strawberries!!

Oh, if anyone would like a pink breast cancer bracelet, I have 9 of them... I'd only ask for $2.00, which is what I paid for them. Let me know!

Well, I need to be going for now... in a little while Extreme Makeover: Home Edition comes on... a family favorite. (We all like Paul)

Hugs!

3/19/05

What a day.....

I just had the most horrible church experience ever today... It scared me.

The Washington, NH Seventh-day Adventist church needs PRAYER! During the winter, they are meeting in a Congregational church, since their church isnt heated. At the moment, their congregation is split due to one man. This man and his family had asked to have their names removed from membership, do not acknowledge the Conference, or associate themselves with the Adventist church. Yet they still control the worship services and the bank account of the Washington Adventsit Church.

This guy owns a Jag, in impeccable condition. I think he scrubs his tires every morning...

Today my Pastor was asked, by the conference, to preach in this church. Knowing my family is a big advocate for prayer, he asked my Dad, my brother, and me to come along as prayer cover. The guys were better off then me. Before "Sabbath School" had even started, I was in tears.

This guy lead out in "song service" to start with, which consisted of "singing" different passages from the Bible. All of 3 people were singing, and the sound sent chills down my spine. If any of you have heard Charlie Daniels' "The Devil Went Down To Georgia", and know the part where the "Devil" joins in with his fiddle, thats what this singing sounded like. They were off key, but in harmony. The voices blended, but were so off that it sounded so evil.

Finally, my Pastor, I dont know how he did it, but he stood up just as they finished one of their songs, and announced that he was starting Sabbath School now. The Jag guy insisted on continuing, WHILE my pastor was still speaking. He talked through the prayer, and would not sit down when Pastor started talking. "Sabbath School" consisted of both of them talking at the same time, struggling to be heard. Several people got up and tried to get Jag guy to sit down, but he refused, rather loudly too. I left then. I went out to the foyer, not able to listen anymore. I dont know how Aaron and Dad were able to sit through that quietly.

Eventually I went back in and just stood at the back, praying. That's when I started crying. That sanctuary was under such heavy oppression, it was incredible. I ended up having to just leave the building, I was crying so hard. I spent the rest of the time there sitting out in my car (which ended up overheating, to make the day so much better) reading my Bible by myself.

My Pastor eventually said, ok. We're going to have our church downstairs, you can do what you like up here. Of the approx. 20 people there, I believe 6 went downstairs with him, including my Dad and brother. I was so completely tired after that... I almost fell asleep in the car, sitting in the sun. (Which was a big comfort to me at the time, I'm so glad it was a beautiful day, weather-wise.)

Apparently the Conference will be taking action now. Today was the last straw. They wanted to see if Jag guy would sit down and bow out gracefully, but he didnt. In fact, he still stood standing quite biligerently. ( It very well could have come to blows today)

This church needs MAJOR prayer, and NOW. Don't wait until Saturday again. There is such spiritual warfare going on in that building, and in that congregation... It still scares me. I've never been in a situation like that. I'd be perfectly happy if I never was again. I can't say it enough, please pray for this church!

I was so tired out, I came home and took a nap...didnt wake up til 6, and I'm still tired. I'll probably go to bed when I'm done writing this.

Please, please, please pray!

Good Morning!

Happy Sabbath!!! And Happy Almost Spring!!!

3/16/05

Good Stuffin's.

Well, I went for the tests... it went GREAT! I have such a good feeling about those tests... The person in charge said she'd call me... thats all... All the others she asked them "Did you want night or daytime classes?" or "Now, you were wanting a private tutor, right?" Me, it was just "I'll call you". Hmmmm

I was there for about an hour and a half, we did just math and english tests. The math was simple, and there I was, all worried cause I absolutely detest math. The reading, language and vocab stuff was easy, I was finished long before anyone else. Had fun twiddling my thumbs... If I can get off without needed any classes, I am gonna be so excited! I'd be able to get my GED about 2 months earlier then I thought I would!!

Pray it all works out well! I would so much love to have all this behind me. I'm ready to get on with my life, highschool should be a thing of the past by now.

I'll update you all when I hear from them and find out whats up!
Hugs!

Warm Fuzzies!!

I got these in my email tonight from my sweet Janelle, and even though we've all probably seen these before, it's still so nice to read and think about each one again. Enjoy!

Things that make you feel good (Warm Fuzzies!):

1. Falling in love.


2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.


3. A hot shower.


4. No lines at the supermarket


5. A special glance.


6. Getting mail


7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.


8.. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.


9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.


10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.


11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or

strawberry!)

12. A bubble bath.


13. Giggling.


14. A good conversation.


15. The beach


16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from

last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.


19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.


20. Running through sprinklers.


21 Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.


22. Having someone tell you that you're

beautiful.

23. Laughing at an inside joke.


24. Friends.


25. Accidentally overhearing someone say

something nice about you.

26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few

hours left to sleep.

27. Your first kiss (either the very first or

with a new partner).

28. Making new friends or spending time with old

ones.

29. Playing with a new puppy.


30. Having someone play with your hair.


31. Sweet dreams.


32. Hot chocolate.


33. Road trips with friends.


34. Swinging on swings.


35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.


36. Making chocolate chip cookies.


37. Having your friends send you homemade

cookies.

38. Holding hands with someone you care about.


39. Running into an old friend and realizing

that some things (good or bad) never change.

40. Watching the expression on someone's face

as they open a much desired present from you.

41. Watching the sunrise.


42. Getting out of bed every morning and

being grateful for another beautiful day.

43. Knowing that somebody misses you.


44. Getting a hug from someone you care about

deeply.

45. Knowing you've done the right thing,

no matter what other people think.

A New Adventure

Well, my friends, in about a half an hour I leave on another adventure into Adult-hood. I go down to take the comprehensive exams to see if I need GED classes or not. I'm beginning to get nervous, so I will DEFINATLY be playing MercyMe on the way down. Pray for me!! I dont know how things will go, I'm told the testing will take about 2 hours. I'll post when I get home to let you all know whats happening.

On another note, I've been studying Job recently, for the first time, and so far, it's nothing like I imagined it would be. I knew Job was tested by Satan to see just how much confidence he had in God, but there is so much more too it then that! I'll try to post some of my findings later on.

Need to run for now, I think I want a coffee before I leave. lol

Hugs!

3/15/05

Spring Is Coming!

I went downtown today, and it was warm enough to drive with my window open! There was sunshine everywhere! There are rivers running down the sides of the roads, pooling into deep puddles that spray high everytime a car runs through them. It even SMELLS like spring!!

There is hope!

Tuesday Morning, dawning bright...

Hello my loves!
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood today! I was woken up by the sun hitting me smack in the face, my littlest sister barging in to give me a hug, and a wonderful mocha to start the day. Not the most poetic recap, but hey, it works!

Well, yesterday I went to see my new friend, the Physical Therapist. As it turns out, my knees are not causing the pain! My flat feet, and the lack of flexability in my hamstrings and other leg muscles are putting strain on my knee cap, causing it to hurt! Imagine that! But my prognosis is good, he says I'll live! Yippie!

On to other subjects, I was able to talk to one of my favorite people yesterday. No matter what kind of day I've had, he always seems to make it 100% better! (He's got this ESP thing going too that always blows me away...) :-) I'm trying to keep my feelings neutral about him, but it's getting hard. The closer it gets to his coming home, the harder it is. He's become a very special person in my life, without even trying!
Jordan, I'll see you at the airport in ten weeks!

Just a quick note to someone...My short Chipmunk friend, hang in there, keep up on the meds, and eat lots of lime jello!! Thinking about you and praying for you!

Today I'm headed downtown again to run some errands. Not sure if Mom is coming with me, but I hope she does! I love shopping with my Mom...except when we are both PMSing... this week though, we're all good!

Time to go finish my now cold breakfast and make another mocha.
Hugs to all!

3/14/05

Home!

Well, Ok, so I got home last night... I'm still home!

I had a totally awesome weekend in Maine, with the exception of the new snow. But even that wasn't too bad, a bunch of us went outside and threw each other into snowbanks.

I have a bunch of pictures put into an album from this weekend. You can find them here!

Well, gotta run for now, have a phone cradled on my shoulder right now. Will write again tonight!

hugs!

3/10/05

Peace At Last!

She's asleep. Finally the Terror is asleep! (she's really not a terror unless she's tired.) Not 10 minutes ago she was screaming and thrashing, not wanting to be held... at least by me. Aaron came down, played the Good Guy, and she went out! Poof! just like that! Now she is back in my arms and twitching, looking so peaceful! Awww!

3/9/05

Blech.

Yep, today I feel like you-know-what.

We had to clean the church today... only a few more time and we are DONE! I can't wait. I really don't like that job anymore. So what if it's a little extra pocket money, it drive me insane.

My sisters were seriously PMSing today, couldnt say anything right around them. It rubbed off on my brother, my Mom, and me, so we were just one big PMSing family today! Oh Joy!

We got more snow last night. And wind too. Nasty combo. I am so sick of snow! Please, make it stop! Jordan, you're right, TN is warm! and Jack, sorry, but you're wrong. I won't miss the snow. And Jeremy... well... uh... hi!

I am now sitting here, in front of my computer, with a healthy dose of comfort food. Just finished a Hersheys cookies and cream bar...now I'm on to the Junior Mints. My Coke is sitting nearby.

Here's a question. Why do they make it possible to close a box of Junior Mints? It's right there, "TO CLOSE INSERT TAB IN SLOT" Who needs to close the box? It says right on the side of the box, "Serving Size 1 box" so why close it? They won't even last long enough to have to close the box!

Ahem. Anyways.

What I'm really wanting are Twizzlers. But they didnt have any in the racks by the checkout... Next time though...

Yeah, I was thinking on the way home today that I really need to email Kelly about something... but now I have absolutely no idea what it was. It's gone!

You know, I realized something last night as I was falling asleep...but I can't write it here, because someone may read it. (Yes, it's about someone who reads this... that narrows it down to what, 2 people? lol) When it's time to write here, I'll write it... maybe..... hehehehe

Well, that box of Junior Mints is gone. (what do they call the BIG boxes of Junior Mints? Jumbo Junior mints? hmmm) I guess I should go in search of real food before I break into anymore junk food...not really hungry though... oh well.

That's all for now folks!
Tootles

3/8/05

New Pictures!

Well, I did it! I put together an album of my semi-serious photos! Anyone who wants to can see them here! Let me know what you guys think.

If you're photographing in color you show the color of their clothes - if you use black and white, you will show the color of their soul. ~Author Unknown

You don't take a photograph, you make it. ~Ansel Adams

What a day!!

Well, I just got back from orientation. Very interesting. I was the only girl there with three guys. two of the guys want to take the daytime classes, and one guy is planning on the evening classes with me. Classes will be done in May, which means done before camp! Wahoo!

I'll be taking the comprehensive exams next week, so they can figure out which classes I should be in, or if I should just go on to the pre-GED test and completely by-pass the classes.

I felt a little out of place because I was the only person there who didnt drop out of school, I just chose an alternate way of finishing.

The most stressful part of today was driving home! While we were all in the orientation, the snow really picked up, and the roads were really nasty. I had to stop once on the way home to snap the ice off my wipers! It figures, the one spot on my windshield that the wipers skip over, is right in my line of vision... I'm really not liking my wiper blades, need to talk to Dad about getting new ones. My passenger blade hardly works at all since that bird flew into my windshield and messed up the wiper.

Anywho, thats whats happening now. I'll keep everyone posted on how the conprehensive exams went, and everything after that! For now, pray this snow stops, and that the expected snow for Friday goes away, I dont want to drive to Waterville ME in snow! Especially not this kind of nasty slushy snow... blech.

Gotta run, my tummy hasn't eaten all day... nerves...

Hugs!

And Jordan, you were right, I can do this. ;-)

3/6/05

What's Taters, Precious?

Note to self, don't wear heels two days in a row.

Hi! I just got back from a...hilarious evening. I got together with Mike and Andrew, and we stormed the mall. Man, shopping with those two is...interesting. lol But I had fun. Another note to self, dont share a strawberry coolata with Andrew...

But now I'm home, sitting with my potato chips and my mushroms, waiting for supper. Yes, I know I shouldnt snack right before supper, but these fresh sauteed mushrooms are my weakness... shhh. All they need is garlic and chicken with chees sprinkled over the top, and I would be in heaven. A note to anyone who ever wants to butter me up. ;-)

I bought a movie today, "Much Ado About Nothing" with Denzel Washington and Keanu Reeves. Totally awesome movie. I highly recommend it. (Jordan, if you haven't seen it, wait til you come home, you can see it here... with me! :-D )

Time to go, supper's ready!
hugs!

Sunday Morning!

Good morning! Yes, I know it's almost afternoon, but oh well. I've said good morning to someone at 5pm before... lol

Today I get my cd player put into my car, I am so excited! It plays MP3 disks too....YIPPIE! "She shall have music wherever she goes." Yup, that is so me. Lost without my music. hehehe

Ok, so I'm basically just sitting here, passing the time until the shower is free... I've been lazy this morning... 11:20, and still in my pjs. haha

You know, I'm curious as to who actually reads my blog. So, if you read this post, please leave me a comment! I can count the people who I KNOW read this on one hand, but there may be more, so please, let me know! :-)

I gotta go for now, will try to write again tonight when I get home. Off to see an old friend today.
Tootles!

One of those surveys EVERYONE loves!



1. Full Name: Ashley Nicole Cheney


2. Birthday: 2/3


3. Age: 19


4. Grade: n/a lol


5. School: home


6. Town: Webster


7. Hair Color: red, aurburn, strawberry blonde, whatever you want to call it.


8. Eye Color: blue/gray


9. Ears: got 'em


10. Glasses or Contacts: glasses


11. Status: umm... single


12. Hobbies: reading, writing, taking pics, talking....




Preferences


(girls)


13. Makeup or None: makeup, just a little


14. Nail Polish or None: sometimes




(all)


15. Casual or Dressy: CASUAL! Jeans all the way.


16. Cats or Dogs: cats


17. Blue or Pink: blue


18. Messy or Neat: um... I try to be neat!


19. Hugs or Handshakes: hugs


20. Rock or Rap: rock


21. Pepsi or Coke: COKE


22. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate, duh


23. TV or Books: books


24. Comedy or Action: comedy




Friends


Who's the...




25. Nicest: Janelle


26. Quietest: Tiffany


27. Smartest: Adah


28. Smart Ass: Adah lol


29. Preppiest: umm... good question. Sara I think


30. Dumbest: n/a


31. Most Perverted: Erik


32. Weirdest: me, obviously




()()()()Favorites()()()()


33. Singer: do I have to choose?


34. Band: again, can't choose


35. Cd: Bethany Dillon - self titled


36. Subject: English


37. Color: blue or green


38. TV Show: Alias


39. Movie: not really sure


40. Time of Day: night (serious night owl...)




Have You Ever


41. Told Someone You Liked Them: yes


42. Told Someone's Secret: yes, but only because I was seriously conserned for them.


43. Egged Someone's House: nope


44. Had Braces: nope


45. Read A Book With More Than 500 Pages: dont know.




More About You


46.Whats the worst thing you ever called someone(and meant it): jerk


47.Worst Grade You Ever Got: F, only one.


48.Nastiest Fight You Ever Had: with Jeremy, dont even remember really what it was about...


49.Worst Punishent You Ever Had: grounded off computer for two weeks... it was torture. lol


50.Thing You Hate The Most: being lonely

3/5/05

to sleep, or not to sleep... this is the question!

Man, I am sooo tired right now. It would be so easy for me to crawl into bed and sleep the afternoon away!

I saw an old friend in church today... I hadn't seen him since November, and when I did see him, well, it wasn't the best situation. Today he was by himself, and was friendly enough, but I still dont really trust him. He really blew it in November, and right now I dont know if I really want to spend time with him. He and his girlfriend really hurt me, and I dont even know why. I don't know if I should try to talk to him about it. I dont know if I should just let it go and pretend nothing ever happened, pretend I was never hurt. I dont think I can do that.

Oh well... I guess I dont need to worry about it right now.

On a brighter note, I think a friend of mine from church will be coming to the prayer retreat in May with me! She asked me about it today, wanted a registration form! She's a sweet girl, I've been having fun getting to know her, I really believe she will get something special from this retreat.

There's someone else I'd like to have join me at the retreat, but he's insisting on staying in Thailand until the day after the retreat... I think he's just trying to avoid me. ;-) (haha! Just giving you a hard time. :-p)

Today we had a men's rally at our church, so they had their own special Sabbath School, and the women had another class. I was the chosen one to lead out the women's class. I had a topic, knew what I was going to talk about (which is why I'm so tired, was up until 1am working on it), but I was incredibly nervous. I'm not big on being the center of attention. But it worked out OK. When I was finished, and had only used up 15 minutes of our SS time, we brought whoever wanted to down to our new prayer room, and had an On Holy Ground time, which was really special.

Ok, now I am really tired. And my head and knee are both starting to throb. Time to sleep! Hugs to everyone! :-)

3/4/05

Oh what a beautiful morning!

Oh what a beautiful day!
The sun is shining, the weather is warmer than it has been the last few days, the snow is MELTING! It's wonderful outside!

Outside my window there is a continuous drip-drip-drip of little drops of sunshine falling from the edges of the roof. There is a glow everywhere from the sun shining off the snow. People are out and about enjoying the warmth of today. What a wonderful end to the work week!

I just wanted to share that. :-)
Now I'm off to head back downtown for the rest of the day. Tomorrow we are hosting a mens rally at church. We will have a ton of wonderful gentlemen filling the pews of our sanctuary. I love listening to them sing!! Whoo! (nothing gives me goosebumps like guys who know how to sing, and DO!) I'm really looking forward to it. :-)

Ok, now I'm off. Hugs to all! (especially a special person)

3/3/05

Ok, so I lied....

I'm back! I was going to go, but then a song came on, by Martina McBride. It's brought tears to my Mom's eyes, and means a lot to me as well, and I want to share the lyrics with you. It's called "In My Daughter's Eyes" but it could very well be called "In My Sister's Eyes" :-) Enjoy!

"I
n my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me
strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes"

Isn't that an amazing song? My sisters, all three of them, are amazing human beings. They really are miniature adults at times. Hannah and Leah are almost ten, and well on their way to woman-hood (which makes me feel REALLY old). I'm gonna have to keep a bat handy when the guys start calling for them!! heehee, thats my job as big sister. *wink*

Sam, wonderful Sam, is such a handful! She's talking quite a bit now, but even more amazing than that is her facial expressions. Sometimes, she'll do something she knows she shouldn't do, and when you try to correct her seriously, she'll look at you with this look, and you really have to struggle to not laugh out loud. She's a manipulator too! She'll get someone mad at her, and then come over, look up at you with Puss-In-Boots eyes, and ask for a hug. So hard to stay mad at that kid. lol And then, a few nights ago all of us kids were home while Mom and Dad were at a board (bored) meeting, and Sam was being a menace! Finally, we got her wrapped up in a big fuzzy blanket, and I pulled her up in my lap. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. She is so peaceful when she's sleeping! So quiet! But after a while, she gets really, really heavy!

We've finally taught her "please" and "thank you", though it doesnt actually come out like that. Instead, we get "peas!" and "tanks!" So adorable! She loves her "do-do" (cocoa), and alwys asks for a "sip" of our coffee, even though she knows she can't have any. If she wants you to go somewhere with her she'll give you a pleading look and ask for your "arm" and will drag you along behind her, holding on to a thumb or pinky.

She's 2 now, and growing up so fast! I am so happy I've been able to be a part of her growing up. She can be a pain sometimes, but hey, so can I! People still love me! :-) As far as she knows, I am all knowing, all seeing, all powerful... well, maybe not all powerful.... she knows that's Mom's station. hehe But she can still climb up in my arms and get a hug when she's mad at Mommy, she can still come to me to kiss a boo-boo, and make it all better. She still comes in when I'm trying to study just to say "Hi!" and then run away. She's recently learned a new game. She tells me to be "sad" so she can give me a hug and make me happy again. It's adorable! The first time I did it with her, she didnt know what to do about me! She looked as if she was going to cry as she hugged me so tight! Now she understands though that I'm not really sad, but that a hug makes me happy.... she catches on quick! She totally amazes me with what she knows. What a creature! That little baby brain is fabulous!

Ok, now I'm done raving over my incredible baby sister. lol I really am gonna go now... Mom is tempting me with mushrooms...... mmm... mushrooms.... Hey, Jordan, how do you feel about mushrooms?

Bye!

Random Musings

I'm sitting here, listening to Rascal Flatts, eating my chocolate chip cookie dough icecream (my second all time favorite), and just chillin'. Litterally. I should know better then to eat icecream when I'm already cold, but oh well! Who can turn down icecream?? Especially someone who has been craving chocolate for the past 2 days? It was getting to be a desperate situation!! haha

I had a thought that I wanted to write down, but now that I have my keyboard under my fingertips, the though has completely flown away! Poof! Gone! Figures...

So I guess you'll just have to read my ramblings instead! Haha, don't you feel lucky?

I'm thinking about putting up a photo album on my website with all my photos. Like my black and white pics, and my sepia pics, all my serious attempts at photography. :-) I actually have quite a few. Maybe I'll do that in the next week or so...

I got wonderful news this morning! The head honcho for the Extreme Teens, Kelly, emailed me telling me I was invited to attend the upcoming training weekend! I havne't been to any since I left the team (I was 18, kinda just moved on, but still active in the Youth Ministry part of it). I am so excited!

Well, since I have to be up early tomorrow for another day on the town, I should get going... plus, talking about that photo album makes me really want to put it together, so I think I'll go do that now. :-)

Hugs!

Bethany Dillon song...

Walk towards me
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you
When you breathe
And look at me
I want to be captured by you

Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

I want to hide
What’s deep in my eyes
I’m scared to be known by you
But when I turn my head
And see you there
I want to be pursued

A dream I won’t wake from
A story that will never end
The ground your feet walk on
Let me be there, let me be there

Bless The Broken Road

I set out on a narrow way
Many years ago
Hoping I would find true love
Along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign
Pointed straight to you

Chorus:
Every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
Other who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent
Just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost
And give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan
That is coming true

Chorus:
That every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like shining stars
Pointing on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
~Rascal Flatts~

Ponderings, Doubts, Wonderings...

We all have them. Me especially, I think. See, a lot of times, I am so concerned with messing something up, that I analyze the situation too much. It really annoys me! I'll be going along just fine, loving my life, and then WHAM! a doubt hits me square in the nose, and I start to wonder, is this the right thing? is this really gonna work out? am I spending all these emotions for nothing? am I going to just get hurt again?

It's hard to live with that, ya know? I tend to need a lot of certainty. I'm working on it, because I know life doesn't always come with a guarantee, but I'm still a major work in progress.

Take a couple situations in my life right now. First off, school. Ok, so I don't agree with the philosophy of text books very well... They bore me, ok? But my lack of interest is coming back to bite me in the butt with college looming, and my high school career not yet finished. I'm in my 5th year of high school. (a downside to homeschooling, I study when I want...not good) While I dont regret staying home, I'm beginning to regret my lack of initiative and self-discipline. If I don't get my act together, I fail high school. It's that something great to have on my educational track record? So, I'm getting myself signed up for GED classes, since I have resigned myself to not finishing my high school program. Soon, I'll be going to classes a couple evenings a week to study for the GED test. Classroom work, this is new to me. I know I can do it, but there are those stupid little nagging doubts in the back of my head that tell me I wont make it, that something this simple is gonna flop, and I'll eternally be a high school drop out with no hope of anything more. What a great confidence booster, dontcha think?

And then there's my...my someone special. Right now, I feel completely clueless when it comes to any sort of relationship. I dont know what to expect, what to plan for, what not to plan for...it's like I've never had a relationship before, and I'm scared to death. I can't even put into words what I'm feeling right now. I'm trying to be mature and just let things happen, but sometimes I worry that they WON'T happen...and I don't want that. But then I think that it's not up to me, that God has a plan all worked out, and that makes me sad, because what if this person isnt God's plan for me? I really want this person to be my Mr. Right. And then, I realize that my life IS in God's hands, and that I dont have to worry, because He knows what He's doing and wants what's best for me. Ahhhh, then I just keep going in circles! I just want somebody to love! But not just anybody. That's not too much to ask, is it? I care about the one person I never thought I'd have the opportunity to care about. It still takes me by surprise every time I think about him.

Whew, I guess I could put some of that into words after all...

I suppose all my thoughts and doubts need to all come down to two verses.

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jer. 29:11 MSG

"I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day" 2 Tim. 1:12 NIV

One day at a time... That's all I can do right now. God knows the future I hope for, and if He wants it to happen, then it will happen... but I admit, I'm terribly impatient!!

Hugs, and goodnight!

3/2/05

Ack!

Well, I've done it. I've gotten myself signed up for GED prep classes. I go in for orientation next Tuesday (3/8) at 1. From there, they will evaluate what I already know to determine what I will need for classes. I'm praying really hard that I won't need much, because I want this to be done before camp starts on June 10th. That's what most worries me! But I suppose I need to just leave it in God's hands and make sure my priorities are in the right order... But I can tell you, that's hard. It's hard enough to sign up for these classes in the first place, but it's got to be done. I have to start working towards college with a vengance!!! Well, ok, maybe not vengance... Maybe excitement? Commitment? I dunno... all I know is I have to work towards it if I'm gonna get there!

Next up, where do I go for college?! I am leaning heavily towards Southern for several reasons...But I dont know! I hadn't even considered that school until recently, but nothing is really telling me not to go there. Though, nothing's telling me not to go to AUC or Andrews either... so that doesnt help. I just need something BIG to tell me I DO need to go to Southern, or any other college for that matter! So if anyone has a really good reason why I should go to Southern, please tell me! I just need one good reason, one big nudge in that direction, thats all! I've finally settled on a major (for now) and Southern offers it! But so do AUC, Andrews, Union, they all do... So academics won't convince me. Ahh! Help!

Continue to pray with me about school... it's an ongoing struggle for me at the moment... Somedays I just want to give it all up because it frustrates me so, but I know I can't do that. There are other areas of my life right now that I tend to question sometimes, but school is the foremost. Keep my in your prayers!

Now that I've gotten all that written down, I'm gonna get going. Been reading through Acts today. Can you believe, in all of my 19 years, in all of my studying, I have never once read through Acts? It's crazy, I know. Well, I'm reading it now. I'm working up to reading The Great Controversy, and I want to have Acts under my belt first. Almost done!

Now I'm really gonna go. :-) Take care, hugs to all, a really big hug to someone special.
TTFN!

3/1/05

I'm gonna be running....

And yes, I will explain that.

But first, I have a quote. I get really good, thought-provoking quotes in my email every morning, and this mornings was GOOD.

"There are many people who are sincere without being simple: they are ever afraid of being seen for what they are not; they are always musing over their words and thoughts and thinking about what they have done, in fear of having done or said too much. These people are sincere, but they are not simple: they are not at ease with others, and other people are not at ease with them. There is nothing easy about them, nothing free, spontaneous or natural. People who are imperfect, less regular, less masters of themselves, are more lovable. This is how people find them, and it is the same with God."

I know several people who are just like that. It's frustrating how they over-analize everything and miss the real meaning.


And now, another quote, it's actually from a song, and it explains my title for this post.

"I'm gonna stop lookin' back
And start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart
And make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge without any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah, I wanna be runnin' when the sand runs out."
~Rascal Flatts 'When The Sand Runs Out"

There ya go, just some thoughts to chew on. :-)
Have a nice day!