Bethany Dillon song...

Walk towards me
I want to hear
The heavens singing over you
When you breathe
And look at me
I want to be captured by you

Gaze into my eyes
And let me know you’d fight
Thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

I want to hide
What’s deep in my eyes
I’m scared to be known by you
But when I turn my head
And see you there
I want to be pursued

A dream I won’t wake from
A story that will never end
The ground your feet walk on
Let me be there, let me be there

Bless The Broken Road

I set out on a narrow way
Many years ago
Hoping I would find true love
Along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign
Pointed straight to you

Chorus:
Every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
Other who broke my heart
They were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent
Just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost
And give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan
That is coming true

Chorus:
That every long lost dream
Led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart
They were like shining stars
Pointing on my way
Into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
~Rascal Flatts~

Ponderings, Doubts, Wonderings...

We all have them. Me especially, I think. See, a lot of times, I am so concerned with messing something up, that I analyze the situation too much. It really annoys me! I'll be going along just fine, loving my life, and then WHAM! a doubt hits me square in the nose, and I start to wonder, is this the right thing? is this really gonna work out? am I spending all these emotions for nothing? am I going to just get hurt again?

It's hard to live with that, ya know? I tend to need a lot of certainty. I'm working on it, because I know life doesn't always come with a guarantee, but I'm still a major work in progress.

Take a couple situations in my life right now. First off, school. Ok, so I don't agree with the philosophy of text books very well... They bore me, ok? But my lack of interest is coming back to bite me in the butt with college looming, and my high school career not yet finished. I'm in my 5th year of high school. (a downside to homeschooling, I study when I want...not good) While I dont regret staying home, I'm beginning to regret my lack of initiative and self-discipline. If I don't get my act together, I fail high school. It's that something great to have on my educational track record? So, I'm getting myself signed up for GED classes, since I have resigned myself to not finishing my high school program. Soon, I'll be going to classes a couple evenings a week to study for the GED test. Classroom work, this is new to me. I know I can do it, but there are those stupid little nagging doubts in the back of my head that tell me I wont make it, that something this simple is gonna flop, and I'll eternally be a high school drop out with no hope of anything more. What a great confidence booster, dontcha think?

And then there's my...my someone special. Right now, I feel completely clueless when it comes to any sort of relationship. I dont know what to expect, what to plan for, what not to plan for...it's like I've never had a relationship before, and I'm scared to death. I can't even put into words what I'm feeling right now. I'm trying to be mature and just let things happen, but sometimes I worry that they WON'T happen...and I don't want that. But then I think that it's not up to me, that God has a plan all worked out, and that makes me sad, because what if this person isnt God's plan for me? I really want this person to be my Mr. Right. And then, I realize that my life IS in God's hands, and that I dont have to worry, because He knows what He's doing and wants what's best for me. Ahhhh, then I just keep going in circles! I just want somebody to love! But not just anybody. That's not too much to ask, is it? I care about the one person I never thought I'd have the opportunity to care about. It still takes me by surprise every time I think about him.

Whew, I guess I could put some of that into words after all...

I suppose all my thoughts and doubts need to all come down to two verses.

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jer. 29:11 MSG

"I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day" 2 Tim. 1:12 NIV

One day at a time... That's all I can do right now. God knows the future I hope for, and if He wants it to happen, then it will happen... but I admit, I'm terribly impatient!!

Hugs, and goodnight!

Ack!

Well, I've done it. I've gotten myself signed up for GED prep classes. I go in for orientation next Tuesday (3/8) at 1. From there, they will evaluate what I already know to determine what I will need for classes. I'm praying really hard that I won't need much, because I want this to be done before camp starts on June 10th. That's what most worries me! But I suppose I need to just leave it in God's hands and make sure my priorities are in the right order... But I can tell you, that's hard. It's hard enough to sign up for these classes in the first place, but it's got to be done. I have to start working towards college with a vengance!!! Well, ok, maybe not vengance... Maybe excitement? Commitment? I dunno... all I know is I have to work towards it if I'm gonna get there!

Next up, where do I go for college?! I am leaning heavily towards Southern for several reasons...But I dont know! I hadn't even considered that school until recently, but nothing is really telling me not to go there. Though, nothing's telling me not to go to AUC or Andrews either... so that doesnt help. I just need something BIG to tell me I DO need to go to Southern, or any other college for that matter! So if anyone has a really good reason why I should go to Southern, please tell me! I just need one good reason, one big nudge in that direction, thats all! I've finally settled on a major (for now) and Southern offers it! But so do AUC, Andrews, Union, they all do... So academics won't convince me. Ahh! Help!

Continue to pray with me about school... it's an ongoing struggle for me at the moment... Somedays I just want to give it all up because it frustrates me so, but I know I can't do that. There are other areas of my life right now that I tend to question sometimes, but school is the foremost. Keep my in your prayers!

Now that I've gotten all that written down, I'm gonna get going. Been reading through Acts today. Can you believe, in all of my 19 years, in all of my studying, I have never once read through Acts? It's crazy, I know. Well, I'm reading it now. I'm working up to reading The Great Controversy, and I want to have Acts under my belt first. Almost done!

Now I'm really gonna go. :-) Take care, hugs to all, a really big hug to someone special.
TTFN!

I'm gonna be running....

And yes, I will explain that.

But first, I have a quote. I get really good, thought-provoking quotes in my email every morning, and this mornings was GOOD.

"There are many people who are sincere without being simple: they are ever afraid of being seen for what they are not; they are always musing over their words and thoughts and thinking about what they have done, in fear of having done or said too much. These people are sincere, but they are not simple: they are not at ease with others, and other people are not at ease with them. There is nothing easy about them, nothing free, spontaneous or natural. People who are imperfect, less regular, less masters of themselves, are more lovable. This is how people find them, and it is the same with God."

I know several people who are just like that. It's frustrating how they over-analize everything and miss the real meaning.

And now, another quote, it's actually from a song, and it explains my title for this post.

"I'm gonna stop lookin' back
And start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart
And make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge without any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah, I wanna be runnin' when the sand runs out."
~Rascal Flatts 'When The Sand Runs Out"

There ya go, just some thoughts to chew on. :-)
Have a nice day!

Black and White Snowscape

While I was driving today, I noticed.....

The landscape has been stripped of it's color. Trees and bushes, roads and mountains, everything stands out in black and white. The only bright colors belong to road signs. Even the cars have all taken on the same mud-salt-slushy hue. Occasionally an expensive, garage-housed car will zoom past in a brief flash of red or blue. The definition of nature has been rounded to unidentifiable lumps and bumps under the snow. Where stone walls used to be, now only a white ridge. Natural guardrails have appeared along rural roads, pushed there by speeding snowplows. Trees are left looking like dusty skeletons. Housetops that once were green or brown or black now all bear the same pure white cover. Swift winds drift snow across roads so there is hardly a road visible anymore. Cars drive along the road, shedding their icing in a cloud of fluff behind them. Snowmen with stark white faces and dark black eyes pop up in yards and along driveways. Figures that resemble humans are out, bundled against the cold, shovelling the front steps, or snowblowing the walk. Cars are started long before departure to attempt at a warm ride. When the sun rises, everything takes on a bright blue glow, slowly turning pink, then finally bright white as the sun reaches its full height. At night, the hills in the distance, shrouded in snow, glisten orange and pink and purple as the sun slowly makes it's way down to settle among the low hills and valleys. Family pets spend more and more time indoors, only venturing outside when absolutely necessary. During the daytime hours, cats curl up over heating vents, and beside woodstoves. Dogs find an abandoned bed to sleep on until an owner comes home and shoos them off. Life seems to slow down whenever snow falls. The quiet hiss of snow reaching the ground, or landing on trees, seems loud when there is no other sound. Sunday evenings are spent drinking cocoa with marshmallows around a fireplace or woodstove, wrapped in a wool blanket. Dreams of Spring flood nighttime imaginings. Morning arrives too soon, meaning another venture into the cold to brush off a car, to de-ice a driveway, to shovel a stair.....

Think Spring! and Good-night!

thoughts

It's quarter past one in the morning, and I'm still awake. I just barely came into my room for the night! Craaaaaazy stuff. But hey, this is me, what more could ya expect? ;-)

We had a board meeting at the church tonight. I only attended long enough to plug the blood drive I'm organizing, then I went home again (took about ten minutes longer cause of the icky snow on the roads). But I've heard all about what went on. It amazes me how shallow our church has become. Everything revolves around money, and hardly around God. Yes, they have good intentions with some of their plans, but they go about it all the wrong way. We spend more time arguing and misunderstanding at these board meetings than we glorify God. It's not right, but I have no power to change it. It frustrates me. (if anyone ever wants to experience my temper, mention renting, cleaning, or decorating my church...just make sure you're prepared to deal with the torrent that will ensue.) I'm really struggling to have a Christian attitude with these situations and the people (boneheads) involved. It's very hard for me, for my family. Whoever reads this, take a moment and pray for me about that, will you? Thanks.

On another note, school. Ah, the word that doesnt like me at the moment. As I confided in a friend, I wish no one knew my school situation. As it is, more people know that I'd like, and its embarrassing. A certain few tend to nag on me about it, and it gets real old real fast. (No, Judd, you're not one of them. ;-) ) This is a public statement (for those who read this) that no longer will my schooling situation be widely known, except to those who I want to discuss it with. Hopefully this will reduce nagging. Who knows.... Nothing depresses me more than talk about my schooling right now... so yeah.........

On to brighter subjects, as I mentioned before, I am organizing a blood drive. I'm really getting excited about it too. I'm hoping to invite all the Adventist churches in the area to take part, as well as non-Adventist. I'm going to invite the Governer, and some other important people (how many blood drives to they get personally invited to, anyways?) I'm aiming to have this drive take place in May, though I don't have a date set yet. Once I do, I'll make it known, and whoever is in the area at that time is VERY welcome to come down and donate! Will keep you updated!

Now it's getting late, I need to get to sleep before I yawn so much that my jaw gets stuck (with the state my jaw is in right now, it could happen!)

Good night!

Friday Night Lights

Hello my lovlies!
As some of you know, my brother and I are working on pulling together a Prayer ministry in our church, a task that is not easy. Tonight, as I was working on pulling together some last-minute thoughts (we present this to our church tomorrow) I was cruising through the New Testament with a verse in my head that I had to find... in turning pages, I came across one of my favorite verses in 1 Thessalonians.

Now, before I go any further, I need to explain a little detail about my Bible. It is a NIV - The Message parallel Bible, meaning each page has one column of NIV, and the same passage in The Message in the second column. It's wonderful! The NIV is in clear language, but the Message makes it personal.

Anyways, to continue. The verse I found in 1 Thes. is 1:2,3. I'm not going to write it all out here, but I do recommend you look it up sometime. That verse is highlighted on the NIV side of the page. As I scanned over the rest of the page, I saw another line that had been highlighted on the Message side. Verse 1:4. I don't remember highlighting this, but I suppose I did at some point.
Read this:
"It is clear to us, friends, that God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special."

Wow! Can you imagine God touching you, paving the way for you to do "something special," equipping you with whatever you need. What a wonderful thought!

But wait, there's more!
As I read on, reading the context, I found even more gems!
Verse 5.
"When the Message we preached came to you, it wasn't just words. Something happened in you. The Holy Spirit put steel in your convictions."

And still, in verse 6, "Although great trouble accompanied the Word, you were able to take great joy from the Holy Spirit! -- taking the trouble with the joy, the joy with the trouble."

There's an entire sermon right there in those few verses!
"It wasn't just words..." How many sermons have we sat through in our lives that were just words? That really had no impact except on our heavy eyelids? When Paul was preaching, talk about enthusiasm! We know how much this man went through! HE had a live-altering experience with GOD! This man had a mission and a message, and nothing was gonna stop him. No matter what audience he spoke to, "it wasn't just words."

But you know, he's no more of a changed man, no more of a sinner, no more of a saint, than we are. He even describes himself as "the worst." (1 Tim. 1:15) Are any of us that humble? We are all "the worst" sinners. Yes, God has put his hand on US for something special. How awesome is that?!?

God gave Paul steel in his convictions. There was no question in his mind. People knew God exsisted just by seeing what He had done in this man's life. This man had started out killing God's people, and now, he was sharing the same Christ. God is good.

We can have those steel convictions. We can have something happen in us. It's not hard, we just have to accept God's will, and let him do something special through us.

The lights have gone out, it's 10:30. I think it's time for bed.
God bless you all! Have a wonderful weekend!


I never did find the verse I was looking for originally....Hmmm...

Friday... almost as busy as Monday!

Hey!!
I wish I could write more, but I'm on my way out the door to spend the day downtown. I know, I need to write here more... I'm trying! (yeah, I know, I'm very trying)

Today Mom and I get to vaccuum at the church, as well as finish up anything else. So glad we'll be done with that soon! Aaron is sick, I'm probably next in line to get it, blech.

Ack! Gotta run! much love and hugs!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy V-day to you all! Sending everyone a special hug and chocolates!
And of course, a rose!
@}--}---

Tootles, and have a wonderful day!

Sleepy-Time

Little sisters are soo adorable...

Sam has just fallen asleep on my brother, she didnt even make it halfway through Shrek 2. She is so angelic when she is sleeping. :-)

This morning, in an effort to get me out of bed, Mom sent Sam in to jump on me. After sitting on my head, and stepping on my computer (dont ask how that happened) she finally crawled under the covers with me, where it was still warm (which is why I didnt want to get out of bed yet). She goofed off some, kicked some, then finally turned to face me and snuggled in under my chin. After a little bit she stopped wiggling....I looked at her, and she had fallen asleep!! I guess Mom's plans to get me up backfired!

I was just thinking about this again, and it kinda has an (if obscure) analogy. How many times to we come to God restless, wiggly, and not wanting to sit still? We just want to bounce around, do our own thing. But does he say "Ok, you wiggle too much, come back when you are ready to quiet down"? Nope! He stays right there, with a grin on His face, patiently waiting for us to realize there is calm and warmth with Him. Finally, when we are ready, He just pulls us in under His wing where it's safe and warm.
"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety" Psalm 4:8

Aren't they just so cute when they are sleeping???

It's that time of year again!

Yup, it comes around every year. Most people look forward to it, some people don't look forward to it....

It's..... FEBRUARY TEN!!!

hahahahahahahahaha

Well, this week is coming to an end. Another week gone. And one less week that I have to wait until Jordan comes home! Yay!

Tomorrow we get to bring my brother's girlfriend, Amber, home. We are all looking forward to seeing her again! It's been MONTHS! She gets to stay all weekend, which means I get to tease them both all weekend. (Yes, Aaron, I know you will get to tease me someday too...)

Well, I wish I had more to write about right now, but I really dont! I have to go type some stuff up and get it printed out before I forget. I'll write again soon!
Hugs!

It's Monday again...

And it isnt always a good thing! This week, for instance, my Monday is only half over, and already has consisted of being informed that I need to have my wisdom teeth pulled before summer, and I have problems with my TMJ! Yippie Skippie!!

Yah, I had a dentist appointment this morning. Wasn't too bad, I work for the doc there. But no matter how well I know the doc, I'm still not too excited about having my wisdom teeth pulled... Oh well, such is life right?

I am so excited, its MUDDY outside!!! It has been in the 40s for the past week! Ha, you know I'm from New England when I think 40 degrees is warm!! In fact, it's almost 50 downtown...kinda humid too...there's a haze everywhere...... wait a sec, nope, never mind, my glasses were just slimey, thats all. :-p But in all seriousness, it really is nice outside. They say we are expecting a "Winter Storm" later this week, but that it's too far off to know for sure.... I'm hoping that if I get enough people to blow hard enough, we can blow away whatever storm is coming! Who's with me?!?

*hears a pin drop*

uhh.... Ok! Moving on!

Well, since I am at a complete loss as to what else to write about, I'm gonna sign off for now! Love and hugs to everyone!

Star light, star bright

Thousands of stars I see tonight!

I was driving home tonight, coming from the bright pink glow of downtown Concord, and when I was finally out of reach of the street lights I happened to look out my window...

WOW!

The stars I saw were SO amazing, it was hard to keep my eyes on the road! Orion was just over my head, and I dont even know what else was up there. But they were SO bright! Literally "Like Diamonds in the sky!"

It's so amazing that God hung each star in the sky. He placed each one right where it needed to be. Wow....

Just had to share that!
Good night!

Birthday Excitement!!

I am officially 19!!! Yay for me!

We went out to eat at the Weathervane today to celebrate, and on the way there, I think I scared my Mom and brother... Aaron put in music from Shrek 2, namely, "Funky Town", and I just went crazy... Dancing in my seat, singing along, it was great!! I dont know if I was just excited about going out to eat or what... but I had fun!! I even had Sammy laughing at me! You know, there is nothing more fun then singing loud and off key when you are closed in a car with family. heehee (course, there's nothing more fun then singing anyhow... but still)

So that was fun. I had an interesting morning though... Nothing like waking up to talk to a wonderful guy, then having the town police show up at your door, followed by your grandmother who almost had a heart attack upon seeing the cruiser in the driveway! Definatly a birthday like no other! Ha!

Well, thats all... need some sleep! Good night!

Sleep-Typing

I can't believe I'm awake still...

What do you do when you are so tired, you can barely see straight, but you can't sleep? I'm trying to figure that out... I have been awake for almost 21 hours... I am soo tired... but I have enough going on in my head that I can't sleep.

Such as, why does life not play fair? I mean, just when you get settled into something, something happens to change it. It isn't always a bad something, but something nonetheless. Sometimes I'm scared of what change is gonna come next... will I be ready?

Enough of that... Today, someone left me a message that just made me feel soo good inside... it wasn't much, it wasn't mushy, it wasn't long, but just something about it... It made me incredibly disappointed because I missed the person, but at the time time, I was ecstatic because they missed me. It's a wonderful feeling. :-) I can't wait to talk to him again!

Ok, it's now 1:30-ish. I've talked with people enough, I think I can sleep now.
Good night!

Ground-what day?

I never got what the big deal was with the poor little groundhog... either way, Spring is coming soon. ha!

I've been awake for 12 hours...sleepy now!

What a beautiful day it was today! When I left this morning, it was cold, but by the time I got out of work, it was absolutely GORGEOUS! Yay!

This is just a quick post before I go eat supper... but I just have to pass on a special note for someone... he knows who he is....

I MISS YOU!

Thats all for now! I might write again tonight, but if not, I will tomorrow!
Peace!

Happy Tuesday!!!!

Hey everyone!

I am soo happy, I worked today for the first time in about a month. So good to be back! I LOVE the place I work and the people I work with. It's so hard to be anything but happy there... The girls behind the desk are all sweethearts, and the docs are fantasitc! (I work in a dental office, fyi)

On my way home tonight, I had put my new Jeremy Camp cd into my cd player (where else would I put it???) and cranked it up. I love listening to music in my car when I'm alone... I can sing as loud as I want, turn the music up as loud as I want, and play a song as many times as I want!! It's great!

Anyways! I was doing just that, and was playing Jeremy Camp's "My Desire" over and over and over and over and...well, you get the point. The song touched me so much, it spoke about what goes through my mind A LOT. Here's the first verse and the chorus... see if it doesnt say something to you!

"You want to be real
You want to be empty inside
You want to be someone lating down your pride
You want to be someone someday
Then lay it down before the King
You want to be whole
You want to have purpose inside
You want to have virtue and purify your mind
You want to be set free today
Then lay it all down before the King

(Chorus)
This is my desire
This is my return
This is my desire
To be used by You

(Bridge)
All my life I have seen where You've taken me
Beyond all I have hoped and there's more left unseen
There's not much I can do to repay all You've done
So I give my hands to use

(Chorus)
This is my desire
This is my return
This is my desire
To be used by You"

WOW! Isn't that a fabulous song! There's another wonderful song on this cd, but that will have to wait for another post, I dont want to make this too long! But I had to share this one right away. If you get an opportunity to listen to this song, or the whole cd, do it! It'll be well worth your time. :-)

Gotta run, my rumbly is tumbling. ;-)

One hour, 25 minutes until February!

No real reason for this post....Just something to post before I go to bed and wake up in a new month.

So with that said, I welcome you to February, and I say good night.

Signing off with Santas, fish, and soot; twizzlers, port-a-loo's, and t-shirts; warm thoughts, sandy beaches, and sunshine; and of course, REALLY BIG HUGS!

Happy Last Day Of January!

January has come and gone at last! The month was fun, but entirely TOO COLD.

It is definatly time for February. And in three days, I'll be 19! Yay!!
For this month, I am taking on a new project. I have a wall in my room that already has a few posters, some framed things, and other random papers and drawing on it. I'm going to continue, making that wall one big bulletin board! I'll take progress pictures as I work on it, and will post them here. If anyone has something they would like me to add to the wall, email me!! I'd love to put something up from you!

I'll be adding all kinds of stuff, pictures, drawings, typed stuff, anything!

Gotta run for now. Mom and I are going out today, gonna look for a fedora!! Yay!
Hugs to all!

Uno!

I swear those kids work against me...

There I was, being nice and playing Uno with them, and how to they show their appreciation? They load me up with 20 reds, blues, and yellows, and then make sure the deck stays GREEN! And then! They remember the handy rule we always use...stacking draw 2s and draw 4s. One round I drew 4, the next I drew 8! Man!

How do 9 year olds outsmart me at that game!! I did manage to get my hand down to 4 cards before Leah finally one, she set me up. She put down her draw 4, making the deck blue. Hannah drew her lotted 4 cards, and I was stuck playing a blue. The end of the game.

Gotta go, celebratory pancakes are ready.
Peace!

(this space intentionally left blank)

Well, I guess I dont need parental consent to eat a late night snack. Instead I should probably have parental guidance. Thats one more carton of icecream gone...



I dont know why they put it away with only one serving left in the bottom...



Healthy midnight snacker, dat's me!

Good night!

11 O'Clock Blues

Do you ever wonder where "o'clock" came from? Who came up with that?

Anyways, it's 11pm. If I were smart, I'd go to bed. But, as you can see, I'm still here. But I have a reason! A dilemma actually. I have a decision to make.

To eat, or not to eat? That is the question. It's time for me to go to bed, but I'm hungry again! (dont you hate it when that happens?)

My brother and I are the only ones still up, so I could get food without parental consent...but then again, I dont need parental consent to get food, or to eat food. But I'm tired. But I want to stay up to catch a friend online, if he comes online.

So, do I eat and stay up to talk to my friend? Or do I bypass it all and get some sleep? Am I smart, or not?

Guess I'll have to stay up and figure it out. In the meantime, I'm gonna go find something to eat.

Awww!!!

I just got done watching "Ever After" with my family. What a sweet love story that is!!
It's always wonderful to see a happy ending that just makes you smile.

Someday I'm gonna have a story-book romance. It may not be THE story-book romance, but it will be MY story-book romance. He may not be Prince Charming, but he'll be the person God has had planned for me from the beginning.

What an awesome thought to look forward to!

Ta ta, my friends! And sweet dreams!

Good Morning!

Ok, so it's 3pm. So what?

Today was a beautiful day! When I woke up this morning, the sun was trickling through the trees, the snow was glistening, everything seemed to be glowing... until I stepped outside to get in the car. Then the cold air kinda made everything seem gray again. :-p

But things got better! Once we left church to come home for lunch, it had warmed up to a BALMY 30 degrees and the sun was shining, and the icicles were dripping little chrystal drops of sunshine.

Right now, it's bright outside, but the shadows of dusk are beginning to form. The icicles have stopped dripping, the sun has gone behind the clouds, and the snow is gradually turning blue.

The house is quiet as people settle in for a nap. In a few hours, everyone will be up again, lively again, and hungry again. The night life and snack time will begin.

Until then, ta ta!

Divine Appointment!

It's amazing who you'll meet in a gas station!

Today, my gas light came on. (it happens sometimes...) So my brother and I pulled into the local Shell to fill up. He washed my windows while I pumped, cause he's a good brother. I went inside to pay and buy a couple sodas. As I went to pay, the cashier asked me what my hat said. (I was wearing my white Stric'ly Jesus hat) I told her, and she asked what it meant. I said "It means my life is strictly for Jesus." She said "So is mine." She told me she's been saved since she was 5, and that it's been hard living in the world, but not of the world. She told me it was good to see young people who are serious about God. When I walked away, she was smiling.

It's always good to smile at people you meet, but thats not always what they look at. Today, I didnt wear my heart on my sleeve, it was on my hat, but people still saw it. This was the first person to comment on it, but I dont even know how many people have read it.

That encounter has had me smiling since. It just goes to show that you can be a witness without even trying. What a good feeling! Maybe I'll wear that hat more often....

BLizzard Update 1-25

SNOW!!!

The blizzard held off for a whole month. NOW we are getting the snow we needed on Christmas!

It has now been snowing alllllll day. And it snowed two days ago...and three days ago...We have the more snow NOW then we did all winter! And its FREEZING. I REALLY want it to be warm again...I dont want to have to wear three layers under my sweatshirt! I'm really looking forward to Summer now! For several reasons!

Gotta run now. Think warm thoughts for me!

Hmmm......

I was sitting here, talking to my favorite person, and then he said something that got me thinking...and then I said something that got him thinking... so there we were, both thinking, and neither of us saying anything!

"Some people say life is too short. Some say it's too long. So who's right? Is it just long enough?"

Hmmm....

;-) to my favorite person.

Are you using all your strength?

The story is told of a little guy valiantly but futilely trying to move a heavy log to clear a pathway to his favorite hideout. His dad stood nearby and finally asked him why he wasn't using all his strength. The little guy assured his dad that he was straining with all his might. His dad quietly told him he was not using all his strength, because,
"You have not asked me to help you." (Zig Zigler)

How many times to we assume an "I can do it myself" attitude about life? How many logs do we come across that we try to move by ourselves? And how many times do we just give up?

But you know, we don't need to do it all ourselves.
Philippians 4:13 - I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
Isaiah 40:29 - He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

God is always standing nearby, waiting for us to ask Him for help. He is always at the ready, poised to reach out and push that log out of the way. All we have to do is ask.
1 John 5:14 - This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

Got a log in your life?
May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word. (2 Thessalonians 2:16,17)
He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Corinthians 1:8)

Prayer Request!

Hello Folks!
I have a prayer request for anyone who happens to read this.

My church is heading down the road to falling apart, going stagnant, and some other bad stuff. My brother (our church's Prayer Ministries Leader) and I are trying to pull together a prayer group. My parents are trying to help us, as well as some others in our church. Along with this endeavor, we have several tough situations in our church that need to be dealt with.

PLEASE pray that those involved have the wisdom, discernment, and guidance they need to handle these situations. God has a plan for our church, but I can see we are letting too many powers-that-be muddle it up.

This is something I feel very strongly about (which means my temper flares up more than occasionally). Please keep us in your prayers.

Obituary of Common Sense

(recieved this through email yesterday)

OBITUARY...


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend
by the name of Common Sense who has been with
us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such
value lessons as knowing when to come in out of
the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and
that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
rules (don't spend more than you earn) and
reliable parenting strategies....
(adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate
when well intentioned but overbearing
regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with
sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouthwash
after lunch; and a teacher fired or reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools were
required to get parental consent to administer
aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the
parents when a student became pregnant and
wanted to have an abortion. It gave condoms
to boys at school as boys will be boys.

Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as
the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses; and criminals
received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after
a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup
of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap,
and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents,
Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights
and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral
because so few realized he was gone.

Home again, Home again, Jiggety Jig.

I'm home!!

Yeah, it's still cold out there.

We got our most recent copy of Adventist Review today, and in it, my Dad found the quote:
"Evangelism is one beggar telling another beggar where the bread is."
I thought that was really cool! And it's true! Christ is the Bread of Life. And we lowly humans have virtualy NOTHING without Him! We are beggars!

Something to think about. :-)

Waffles!!

Good Morning!
While I am standing here in the kitchen, eating my waffles, I'm hearing the news (or rather, reading it). We are expecting a snowstorm! It's About Time!

The girls and I are getting ready to go to church, just Sabbath school today. The crazy weather people are predicting -9* today, WITH a windchill! I really would just like to go back to bed, under my three blankets (one being electric). Snow is expected to start after noon-time. I really wish those crazy weather people would find a better job... the weather listens to them! It does just what they say! Man! The power they must have! I wonder what would happen if the people who report car crashes had that power! Or sports!

But besids that, it's darn cold here. I dont even want to go outside, my nose freezes. Hannah and Leah had better wear enough clothes today, I won't take complaining about cold. They didnt HAVE to come. lol

Time to go get a mocha and another round of waffles (or would it be a square of waffles?). I'll write again this afternoon when I get back.
Huge Hugs!

I have no title for this post...

I am sitting here, in front of my computer, eating the last of the Mint Cookie Caverns icecream straight from the box. Icecream always tastes better that way... slowly melting...

Mom is beside me, looking on, eating peanutbutter out of the jar, left over from her banana. Ooh, she just grabbed another banana after reading what I typed. heehee. Gotta love Mom.

It's almost 11 pm. My brother is in his room, complaining about a website that needs DESPERATE help.

Not a whole lot happened today... we started early on our Spring Cleaning. The house looks pretty good now! I scared Mom today... I did dishes. Took her a while to realize it was me, then she asked me if I was feeling alright... why is that? Hmm...

I'm currently studying world history in school... pretty boring, but must be done. I'm considering reading The Great Controversy at the same time, to see how things go together. Should be interesting!

I've been updating my website a lot too... I have a lot I want to do with it, just need to make time around school and family to work on it.

Every morning I wake up to the CD in my stereo. (funny that) And the first song I hear in the morning, when I first wake up, is the song called "More" by Matthew West. Amazing song! Imagine waking up to hear:
I love you more
Than the sun and the stars
That I tought how to shine
You are mine
And you shine for me too
I love you
Yesterday, and today,
And tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love you more!

What a way to start the day! I've also been starting each day by reading a little in The Messiah, a modern adaptation of "The Desire Of Ages". Good book so far! Thats one to read with a highlighter in hand!

Early mornings are also going to end up the best time to catch me online, as I HAVE to buckle down on school work. I'll usually be online from 6:30 to 9-ish, and again in the evenings, late like tonight. TRYING to improve my study habits (or lack thereof)!

Now, as my icecream is mostly melted and drips everytime I take a bite, I'm going to leave you with a verse I've come across recently. (pulling out my Bible and journal...)

"In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk -- better yet, run! -- on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline -- not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.
You were all called to travel on the same road and in the same direction, so stay together, both outwardly and inwardly. You have one Master, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who rules over all, works thought all, and is present in all. Everything you are and think and do is permeated with Oneness."
Ephesians 4: 1-6 The Message

Good night!

It's 3:26, do you know where your brain is?

I do!

Anyways, I was just taking a break to find chocolate and crack my back, and I picked up my little "Pocket Power Book of Integrity". In it I found a couple quotes that are pretty good. Just thought I'd share!

"The true test of character is what one thinks, says, or does when no one is watching."

"Watch your thoughts, because they become your words. Watch your words, because they become your actions. Watch your actions, because they become your habits. Watch your habits, because they become your character. Watch your character, because it becomes your destiny"

"Listen to your heart as much as you do your head."

"A true test of your character: Do you remain the same under intense pressure?"

Just thought those were interesting!
ttfn!

Website updated!

Well folks, I have updated my website! Now there is something on every page, even if it's not much. As I said before, there are pics from Florida up. I've also put up a bio of sorts, and some other stuff... It's really not supposed to be an 'I love me' site, honest! I just did a website about what I know, thats all! It's a work in progress, so there will be more. If I find the time, that is!!!

Should run for now. Much love all around!

Here's a thought...

What if it were me
That lost someone
When the towers fell?
What if?

What if it were me
Who cried at the loss
Of an airplane victim?
What if?

Wat if it were me
Whose husband left for war
And never came home?
What if?

What if it were me
Whose child was kidnapped,
Molested, and killed?
What if?

What if it were me
Whose son was killed
Just because?
What if?

What if it were me
Whose entire regiment died
Under attack from enemies?
What if?

What if it were me
Whose house was flooded
By hurricane winds and rain?
What if?

What if it were me
Whose family was swept away
By a 40-foot wave?
What if?

What if it were me
Who had nothing left
But God?
What if?

What if it were me?

Tuesday Morning Thinking Stuff....yeah.....

This morning I was sitting here by my computer, coffee by my side, and my Bible open in front of me. While I was looking at a few interesting verses, I was hit with the feeling that I should move into ministry instead of counseling. I looked at the website for the college I want to attend, Andrews University, as well as another college, SAU, and checked out their religion majors. Like they knew I was coming, they both offered exactly what I had in mind. SAU offers a B.A. in Religion Edu. for carreers like a academy Bible teacher, which is one area I've been thinking about. And Andrews offers a B.A. in youth ministry, the other area I'd thought about. Hmmm...

So now I need to pray about which direction God wants me to go in! Pray for me!

Why???

Why is it friendships have to dissolve so easily?
Why is it certain people can make me so mad, all I can do is cry?
Why is it someone can make me smile for a week or more, with only a few words?
Why is it a voice is so important?
Why is it I feel so old, but so young at the same time?
Why am I so patient with some people, and have such a short fuse with others?
Why do I love driving so much?
Why do I want to grow up so fast, and why do I want to stay a kid?
Why is music such an important part of my life?
Why is it so important for me to make people smile?
Why is it I can sing at the top of my lungs in the car, but clam up in front of other people?
Why is it I can only be around a huge crown of people for just so long?
Why am I not big on deep water?
Why have I gotten so serious about things I once didnt really bother with?
Why is coffee so yummy?
Why is it women love chocolate?
Why is it some guys just dont get it?
Why can I find the answer to almost any question in my Bible?
Why can I get my thoughts down better on paper than by speaking them?
Why do I enjoy being by myself so much?

Why do I ask so many questions?

More Florida Pictures!

I got the album up! Check out my website, under the Photo section. You'll find them!
Let me know what you think!

Tootles!

Silly Sisters!

This is my sister, Sam, and I... I told her to "smile pretty!" and this is what I got! The picture looks different cause my camera was on the wrong setting... but it actually came out pretty cool!

Sam was wiggling all over when my family met me at the airport Friday... she couldn't wait to get out of that stroller and give me a hug. Once those little baby arms were around my neck, they weren't moving... She wanted nothing to do with anyone else! I think she missed me!!!

First Full Day Home...

Well, I have now been home for a full day. I am still SO tired!!!

Tomorrow, I'm planning on sleeping in as late as I possibly can tomorrow! I have a lot of it to catch up on!

I'm going to try to put together a webalbum of all the pics from our week in Florida, but I won't make any promises...I'll try!!! They are DEFINATLY worth seeing! I'll have my Mom help me out with that, she knows more about it then I do. :-)

I shouldnt stay too long...Dad's playing some cool theme songs from OLD tv shows. It's funny to see how many I actually know!!!

Mr. Ed is playing now, must go!
Big Hugs!

Pictures from Florida!

We arrived in Orlando on Jan. 7th. We had some time to kill before the rest of our party arrived, so the girls and I took the opportunity to celebrate our arrival in the Sunshine State! As soon as we were able, we ditched the socks and shoes, put on our flip-flops, and went outside and painted our toenails PINK!

Florida pic 2

Sabbath, Jan. 8. Lunch was yummy and quite fancy! Thats my friend Hannah and me, very hungry!

Florida pic 3

Sunday, after getting our booth set up, we relaxed a bit... my brother took a picture of me -- taking a picture! Ha!

Florida pic 4

Taking some time for ourselves on Sunday, Jan. 9th, we went to The Sizzler, a delicious buffet in Orlando. Dessert, as always, was the best. Thats my friend Katie with me.

Florida pic 5

We got our picture taken with an oversized Raggedy Anne doll outside a former FAO Shwarts ( I think I spelled that right!) The store was closed and empty while we were there, but the big toys outside were still there! Free time on Jan. 9th.

Florida pic 6

Detail of the picture with Raggedy Anne.

Florida pic 7

We spent 4 hours a day in our booth, 10-2. During the slow points, the cameras came out, and we had some fun...

Florida pic 8

Breakfast on Jan. 11th. The food was REALLY good for most of the week. This day inparticular was a sort of quiche; eggs, spinach, and mushrooms.. it was yummmy! That's me with Darlene (center) and Chrystal.

Florida pic 9

Miss Elizabeth and me! She and I had several long talks over the weekend about life, love, and teenagers. (yes, we talked about you too, Jordan! *wink*)

Florida pic 10

A beautiful self-portrait in the back of the van, coming back from one of our few excursions. Jan. 13th.

Florida pic 11

At the hotel, getting ready to leave, 5am Friday morning, Jan 14th.

Florida pic 12

At the airport in Orlando, 6am, ready to go home...

Home At Last!

Hi Folks.
We are home again. We travelled from 80 degrees and sun, to 30 degrees and snow. Well, Ok, so it was raining REALLY HARD when we left... all week it had been warm!

Our flight home was pretty good. It was just us 5 teens this time, no adult with us. (Wait a sec.. I'm an adult now....technically.) Everyone was tired though, after getting up at 4am, wouldnt you be? But it led to some not so hot experiences on the way home, and a severe power stuggle between the two oldest of our group. But we all survived, and made it home safely.

I would write more now, but I am utterly worn out. My eyelids keep sticking together! ha! I'm gonna run for now and try to stay awake for a couple more hours at least.

Hugs to everyone! and one BIG hug to someone special! ;-)

Florida!!!

Hey folks! I'm here in Florida. IT'S WARM!!! I have gone swimming at least three times so far.

We have been having a wonderful time meeting people and praying with people as they come by our booth. On the flight here, we met a wonderful woman on the plane, and discovered quickly that we were going to the same place, for the same convention! We've seen her several times while we've been here, she is a wonderful person, a real sweetheart, and a strong prayer warrior.

I bought a book today, The Messiah. It's a contemporary adaptation of the Desire Of Ages. Wonderful book. And I even got it signed by the author, Jerry D. Thomas!

We've had some amazing experiences here, and some very powerful prayer times. We have been invited to come to about 7 different conferences around North America, from Canada, to Colorado, to right back here in Florida!

I am going to sign off for now, I have some emails I need to send, and then I'm gonna round up my kids, and we're going swimming for a while before we head out to eat with Pastor Harry Sabnani.
Take care all!
ttfn

The night before...

WAHOO!!!!!! We leave for Florida tomorrow morning!!!!

This will be my last post from Northern New England until the 15th! I will be able to post from Florida though, whenever I have time, and whenever my brother doesnt have the computer. hehehe

I am really looking forward to this trip. It will be my first time flying! I have no clue what I'll be doing or having to do in the airport, so I am very glad I'll be travelling with others who have flown before!

As I am writing this we are in the process of making PIZZA! Dad made the crust and everything, the whole house smells like garlic. Mmmmmm.......

One of the girls going to FL with us is already here, and the other two teens are on their way here from Maine. Right now it is snowing, quite heavily too. It's freezing or below. And tomorrow we head south where it will be upper 70's and 80's all week! Our hotel has two heated pools, complete with slides! I'll come home all FRECKLED! heehee

Gotta run for now... My stomach is rioting again. Pizza will be ready soon!

hugs ans love to all, will write again from FLORIDA!

Sleepless Efforts

Tonight I am posting from my Mom's computer in the living room. Every now and then my brother (17) and my sister (2) run by in an effort to tire her out. They have run through the room countless times, first Sam chasing Aaron, then Aaron chasing Sam. Sam's hair is blowing lightly in the breeze she creates.

Now she's hiding in her cupboard, waiting for Dad to come in and find her. I can hear her humming to herself, and banging her head against the inside walls. When she is quiet, and the door is closed, you can't even tell she is in there. She peeks out, and wiggles all over when she hears Dad come in. Finally, she can't take it anymore, and run out with a giggle to get her hug.

Two-year olds are fun. :-)

Matthew 25:34-40

"Then then King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.
35. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,
I was a stranger and you invited me in,
36. I needed clothes and you clothed me,
I was sick and you looked after me,
I was in prison and you came to visit me.

37. "Then the righteous will answer him,
'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you,
or thirsty and give you something to drink?
38. When did we see you a stranger and invite you in,
or needing clothes and clothe you?
39. When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40. "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

Whatever you do for the least of these....

We are currently reading about all the effort put into the areas hit by the earthquake and tsunamis. Many people have reached out and done what they can to help the people affected. Some have donated supplies, some have donated money, and some are right there, in the thick of things, helping where they can.

I know God is crying over the lost lives, but I also know He is rejoicing over the efforts everyone is putting in to help those who have survived.

Not everyone is in a position to donate money, or to send supplies, or to work in the areas. But everyone is able to pray. I ask that we all take a moment or two out of our days to say a prayer for the people who are suffering so many losses, who lost homes, family members, livelihoods. For the people who are searching continually for more survivors and missing people. And for the people who are working with those who have been found, who are in need of medical care, who are unable to care for themselves now.

I can't even begin to imagine losing my family, or my friends, to something like this. But that earthquake could have just as easily hit off our coastline.

Whatever you do for the least of these, you have done unto Me.

Something to think about.

Monday Morning Musings

Hi Folks! Beautiful day, isnt it?

I am sitting here at my computer with my mocha-chino on one side of me, and my little sister on the other side of me, with her "do-do" (cocoa).

Today it feels like late March outside... The snow is mostly melted, and the sleet we got last night has made everything wet and smell like it just rained. I can't see the thermometer from where I am sitting, but at 10:30, it was 45* outside. I'm considering taking a walk to the mailbox because it's so nice out there! (A walk to the mailbox is an excursion. We have a long driveway.) We'll see!

I leave for Florida in 4 days. Yay!!! Just checked the weather for Orlando. We're looking at 80's for the first half of the week! Wahoo!!! I get to go swimming, wear shorts, and FLIP-FLOPS!! This is going to be a fun week. :-) And the "Complimentary high-speed wireless internet access" that the hotel sweetly supplies means I will be able to keep in touch with everyone from Florida!! I'll have my camera with me, as well as my webcam, so you all may be able to join in the fun now and then... but no promises.:-)

While the trip will be fun, this week before is going to be busy! I have too much to do! Ack!

I can see the bottom of my mug, so that tells me it's time for me to get up and get moving and refill!
Much love and hugs!

For the girls. (but guys can read too)

"I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
Count on the makeup to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep
'Cause I cannot keep their attention
Thought I could be strong
But it's killing me
Someone hear my cry
I'm dying for new life

I wanna be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart
And be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just wanna be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone
Other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find
Whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory"

The song is called "Beautiful", sung by Bethany Dillon.

How many times have we, as girls, wanted to be beautiful, feel beautiful, be told we are beautiful? We look for worldly acceptance. We see some star or model surrounded by guys and wonder, why can't I have that? Maybe if we use a little more makeup, or lose a little more weight, or wear clothes a little bit tighter, maybe then we'll be "beautiful". Maybe then people will stand in awe of us. Maybe then we'll be worthy of love.

But after we try all that, how many times to we just feel like it isnt enough? Like we STILL are lacking something? Like we STILL aren't complete? Like we are still not beautiful?

We all have our moments, now matter how secure we are in our own skin, when we wonder, "what if?" I've had times where I wonder if I'll catch that guy's eye if I wear that shirt tugged a little lower. Or maybe some other guy will notice if I wear more makeup then usual. But in the end, I just feel silly.

The point is, we girls are so much more beautiful when we are ourselves, and not just cut from the cookie cutter. And on top of that, when we have a healthy relationship with Christ, we just glow, and can't help it!

The last chorus of that song says it all:
"You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart
And I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love
And beautiful!"

I know that who I am IS enough. I dont have to be someone else. If someone doesnt love me for me, then they aren't worth my time.

When I got serious about God, I stood in awe. It was like I was standing outside of a bubble, watching myself grow up and change, and I saw where I started, and where I am now. You wouldn't believe the change that took place. And is still taking place!

When Christ is a part of your life you are beautiful. And no one can tell you otherwise!

Thats all for now, folks.
(Greetings to Judd. giggle)
Goodnight!

Hmm...

You know, I was just thinking about stuff.... funny that.... anyways, I was just thinking...
Why is it we have more patience when we are waiting for a red light to turn green, then we do waiting at a stop sign for traffic to ease up? Normally we wait just as long, so what's the difference?
And why is it that there are traffic lights at intersections that really dont need them, and there aren't lights where there should be?

Hmmm.......

My Child...

My child, I love you
I'll show you how much
With all I can do
Or with one simple touch
I'll show you I care
In small quiet ways
Like bright, sweet sunbeams
To lighten your day.
I'll show you in bright ways
With many colors
In every sunset
Each one like no other.
I'll show you My love
With blessings so sweet
Every smile that you see
Every person you meet.
I'll show you My love
In every way.
Every sight, every sound
Is Me trying to say
I love you, My child
With all that I am
I'll continue to show you
Every way that I can.

What if...

What if we never grew up. What if we were perpetually 10?

Life would be simpler. We wouldnt have to worry about work or paychecks or bills. Cars would be obsolete, our bikes could take us to the ends of the earth. Getting through fourth grade would be the biggest of our worries, no SATs, or getting accepted into the college of our choice. There would be a lot fewer broken hearts, because boys would still have cooties. Sundays wouldnt be full of chores, but watching cartoons at 6am, in no hurry for anything. Snowdays wouldnt be spent finishing up late homework, but sledding down the tallest hill we could find. Arguments would consist of who got the Legos out first, and who should be responsible for putting them away. Siblings would be our best friends, and our worst enemies. Parents would still know everything. Bed time would be 9pm, no questions asked. We would be energetic without the need for caffiene, and would wonder why our parents drank so much coffee. World events would be insignificant compared to the Green Army Men vs. Polly Pocket battle raging in our bedroom. Barbie would still date Ken.


Or what if we lived like a cat?

Our daily routine would be sleep, sleep, eat, sleep. We could come and go as we pleased, get whatever we wanted by crying. Get our food served to us at every meal. We would rule the house. We would be free to walk wherever we wanted, and not always on the floor. We wouldnt have to do anything unless we wanted to. I could get used to that...

What if? Any other ideas? :-)

ttfn

Good Morning!

*yawn* Hello!

I am sitting here, up and ready for the day, but hardly what some would consider "Awake". I was up late last night, and was woken up earlier then I would have liked this morning.... But it's all good... I now have my coffee sitting beside me... if it can be called a cup of coffee, it has a similar consistancy with tar. It is the bottom of the pot, sat there so long it's cold, no milk in the fridge, hazelnut flavored, TAR. (with sugar!) But! It will do the job! Good thing I'm not picky about my coffee, huh?

Hmm, I guess I wasnt to aware of the dribbling coffeepot, was just informed that there is a mess on the counter from my coffee... So I suppose I should go clean that up.

Have a wonderful Wednesday, my friends!
ttfn!

Can you picture it?

I want to paint a picture for you of something I saw recently that just stuck out so vividly in my mind... I want to share it.



Picture yourself in the driver's seat of a car. You are on a freeway shortly after rush hour. The sun has set recently, the natural light is just dark enough to need headlights, but just light enough for them to not do much good. You are in the middle of a city, so there are street lights shining their orange glow down on the road infront of you. It's raining slightly, just enough to need your wipers. You signal to turn off the freeway and head home. As you drive away from the city, the light from the streetlights fade, but the light from the tail lights infront of you begins to brighten. The headlights coming at you become more visible. Your own headlights have turned into beams, and not light clouds of light. The closer you drive towards home, the fewer cars you meet. You turn off of the main road, and onto a smaller road. Once again you turn, and soon you are the only car on the road. It's dark now. The rain has stopped, you remember to turn off your wipers. You flick on your highbeams. Looking out of the window, you see whisps of cloud overhead, and beyond them, you see the first stars twinkling far, far away. The moon is rising to your left now. It's half-way there. The craters that make up it's face are clear and dark. Watching the road ahead of you, you see the flick of animal eyes cross the road aways ahead of you. It was mid-height, could have been a small deer, or a large dog. By the time you come up to the place, there is no sign of the animal. The air is still except for a small breeze how and then that blows dead leaves across your path. It's very quiet except for the sound of your breathing and the hum of the car. You make your last turn onto a dirt road, the final leg of your trek home. The bright headlights illuminate all the leaves along the side of the road, and every pebble and pothole in the road. Finally you come to your own driveway, turning in, over the knoll, and around the bend, you see the light in the yard, welcoming you home. You turn off the highbeam lights, and pull into your parking slot between the truck and the van. Turning off your lights and the engine, you sit and listen to the silence for a minute. Gathering your things, you climb out of the car and into the chrisp, cool night air. Above you the stars are shining brightly, you feel like you could be swallowed up into their brilliance. The moon winks from behind the trees at the edge of the yard. There are rustlings in the woods far to your right, probably a lone squirrel or owl. You walk to the door, turn the key, and there you are. Home.

Did you see it?

Late night thoughts...

Good evening.
It is 11:49 pm as I am beginning this, on a Tuesday night.
My computer is sitting in front of me on my bed, my water bottle is beside me, half empty. I have only one light on, and the glow of the screen.

And I'm thinking. I know what you are thinking. "Ashley, you know thinking can be dangerous..." But this time, it's ok. :-)

A lot has happened to me in the last month or two. It makes me stop and think, why? What did I do to deserve all this, both the good and the bad? What made me so special?

Over a month ago I pretty much lost two people I considered to be my best friends. I dont know what happened, they just decided to not talk to me. That really hurt.

Another friend seemed to be ignoring me for a reason I couldn't figure out at first. I was afraid I was losing her too. We've since talked about it, and everything is squared away. I've kept that friend, so far.

One of my closest guy friends has been a steady confidant through a lot lately. He listens to all my troubles, and gives me advice from a guy's point of view. He has recently told me that he also has feelings for me. I am flattered, but I just can't return his feelings. Right now, I am trying my hardest to keep things as they used to be with him, but it's hard. (If you're reading this, I am so sorry. I'm still trying.)

And I know I'm losing another friend right now. He and I have been through you-know-what and back, and somehow kept a friendship going. But it is seriously slipping right now. We've shared some harsh words, we both have hurt feelings, we both are angry, and we both are not trying as hard as we could be to see things from the other's point of view. I've done my part, the perverbial ball is in his court now to do with as he pleases. I know things will work out for the best, I'm just afraid of what the best will be.

On a brighter note, last night my youngest sister decided, as I was heading to bed, that I was THE person that she wanted to spend time with. If I tried to set her down, she's cry. If I tried to give her to Mom, she'd cry. All she wanted was to be held by me. She would wrap her little baby arms around my neck, and cry into my shoulder. If I got her distracted with something else and snuck into my room, she would follow me crying "Ash! Ash! Ash!" It made my heart melt! I finally had to put her down and go to bed, at 11:30 at night. It made my heart break to hear her crying, but it felt SO GOOD to know she loved me and wanted me. There's just something about little kids... They call it "the terrible twos" but she's not that terrible... just two!

And today, I talked to the subject of my affection, and once again, he surprised me! He is planning to go with ADRA to help the people affected by the tsunamis and the earthquake. That really meant something to me. And then he proceeded to make me blush and grin as he tends to do sometimes. :-) (Yes, you, I am still grinning.)

Speaking of the earthquake and following tsunamis, it breaks my heart to hear the rising death toll. All those innocent people, their lives snuffed out in an instant, their homes no longer standing, some not even exsisting anymore. I am so blessed to be where I am right now, in a warm room, on a soft bed, with heat and electricity; those people have nothing now. Parents have lost their children, children have lost their parents. Homes, resorts, whole islands have been leveled. Many people had friends or relatives in the area, and dont even know if they are still alive. The agony those people must be going through. I have no right to complain about my life. Right now, my life is easy.

Say a prayer as you read this, or as you go about your day, for the people in Indonesia, Thailand, Sri Lanka, India, and all the other countries affected by the quake. And say a prayer for all the workers who are helping search for loved ones in the mess. None of their lives will ever be the same.

late night thoughts...

Christmas Preperation!!

'Twas the day before Christmas

and all through the house

every creature was cleaning,

right down to the mouse!

The shelves and the mantle were dusted with care,

For in a few hours, the relatives would be there!

I in my sneakers

And Mom in her jeans

Had just settled in

to the cleaning routine.

When at the front door there arose such a clatter.

I jumped and ran to see what was the matter.

And there on the stoop stood the relatives, oh my!

My mother set down her broom with a sigh.

Everyone was here, and the house was a fright.

But we all settled in to enjoy the night.


Merry Christmas!!

Blizzard Update 2.0

Well, the snow has stopped. But over the course of the flurries, we accumulated 3-4 inches of white stuff!! Yay!!!! Now, if we can only get it to last through Christmas...

Blizzard Update

The plan is working!!! It has been snowing here since about 7:30 last night!!!

Finally, there are no bare, brown spots on our lawn, or under the trees even. Everything is white!!!

Must go, it feels like Christmas at last, so I must go wrap presents.

Tootles!

Operation Blizzard Commences.

Hello my dear, snowless friends!!
It is now 5 days before Christmas, and I still see very little, if any, snow. Problem!! "It's beginning to look a lot like...." Springtime!! Where's the snow?

Traditional Christmas songs are irrelevant this year, it seems... A very sad, sad thing. Christmas just isn't Christmas without snow! (No matter what you may say, Jordan.)

So, I hereby declare "Operation Blizzard" to be kicked in, FULL THROTTLE!! For the next 5 days, I say we should think SNOW, dream SNOW, and SING SNOW!

"It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas"
"I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas"
"Let It Snow"

And any other snowy songs you can come up with.

It's coming down to the wire folks... Let's see if sheer willpower can turn this weather pattern around!!!

Hugs and love to all this holiday season!

The Inimitable Has Returned!!

Hey Folks! Sorry I haven't posted in a while... life got away from me and I was trying to catch up!

You know, there are a few things in my life that just make me so happy..... One is completely and totally pulling the wool over the eyes of my entire family and extended family, and then surprizing them when they least expect me.

This past weekend, December 12th to be exact, my family was having Christmas with my Mom's family. The party was being held in Freeport Maine, at my Aunt's house. When planning started for this get-together, I told everyone from the start that I wouldnt be able to make it, I had a birthday party that weekend that I had promised to attend. (Love you Adah!) A week before the scheduled event, I confided in my Dad and my brother that I still wanted to attend, and would work it out so I could. But they couldnt tell ANYBODY. And they didnt.

The day before the party, Saturday, as I was getting ready to head to Adah's, my Mom told me she REALLY wished I could come. I told her I did too, but that I would see her Sunday night when they got home. Quite a good performance, if I do say so myself. I tried not to giggle as I gave my Dad a hug and headed about my merry way.

Sunday I headed out from Adah's, giving myself enough time to get to Aunt Shelley's just in time to make a grand entrance. Everyone knew I was busy that weekend, no one was expecting me. I pulled in, walked up to the door, and as soon as I stepped in the house, a chorus of "ASHLEY!!" rang up. My Mom and my aunt were in shock that I was there, my sisters were ecstatic, Sam, the baby, gave me a big hug and a sweet smile.

I got just the reaction I was going for. It made me happy. :-)

The second thing that really makes me happy happened just a couple days ago. I was home watching the three little girls, Hannah, Leah, and Sam. Sam was grumpy. So H and L gave her a bath, got completely soaked, and had fun doing it. When Sam got out, I put her in her fuzzy jammies (the kind that is SO CUTE on little kids) and the big girls put on Lady And The Tramp. Sam climbed up in my arms, settled her little head down on my shoulder, and watched the movie until she just couldnt stay awake any longer. She fell asleep, right there, on my shoulder. I had been in a not-so-great mood myself that day, but having Sam fall asleep on me like that just made everything that was bugging me fade away. It's funny how little kids can do that...

So yeah, it's just little things like that that light up my life. Surprizes and sleeping 2-yr olds...
Life is good. :-)

New Favorite CD

Go look this one up.

www.bethanydillon.com

Her music is wonderful! And she is only 15!!

I highly recomment the songs "For My Love" for the girls and "All I Need" for anyone.

Check it out!!

TURKEY DAY!

Hey everyone! I know it's the day BEFORE the stuffing, but since I wont be here tomorrow, I'm saying HI now!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

Ok, now that I have that out of my system...

Gotta run! Hugs to all.

Book Recommendation!

Hi to all my favorite people! (You know who you are)

And a hello to everyone else as well!

As most of you know, I read voraciously. The latest book to pass through my hands was one called "When Dreams Come True" written by Eric and Leslie Ludy.

It's the story of their romance, from beginning to end. The beginning doesn't start when they met, it began when they were growing up. And it didn't end when they got married, it still continues. It's a wonderful story and an inspiration. It proves that there can be true romance still in today's society, and that there really IS someone made especially for each one of us. If you are in a dating relationship, or even if you're not, I recommend reading this book.

Thats all!
Tootles!

Still Listening?

"There was a time when I thought that I had You
figured out
I told You before and I'll say once more
Now and then I have my doubts
I'll never pretend to know what You are doing
It's true that You move in mysterious ways

I looked for You in
The fire and the wind
But You weren't there as far as I could see
I thought I'd hear You shout
But then I figured it out
That all along You're whispering to me"
Still Listening ~ Third Day


How many times do we ask God to show himself in a big way, just so we can know He is there? How many times to we ask for some sign that He cares for us, something out of the ordinary? And how many times do we get dissapointed when we dont get that big, miraculous sign? All too often. You know why? Because God doesn't need to shout to be heard by us, as much as we think He should. He whispers His love to us every day. Don't believe me? Think about it. You woke up this morning, didn't you? You saw someone smile at you, didn't you? You felt a breeze blow by, or saw the sun come out or felt the rain fall on your face. You felt love for someone, or felt the love someone has for you. You saw a rainbow, a flower bloom, a baby born. These are all little miracles that wouldn't happen at all if God did not exsist, or didn't love us. All too often these little "whisperings" get over looked when all we want is a lightning flash or an audible voice. It's the little things that we take for granted that really show how God cares.

So next time you feel like you need a "sign" that God cares at all, stop and ask yourself, "Did I wake up this morning?" Without a doubt, you'll have your answer.

Concert update

Hello my friends!
The concert has come and gone, and it was AWESOME! Between my brother and I, we have well over 200 pictures. As soon as we can, we will go through them all and pick out the best ones and compile them all into a web album. Once we do that, I'll post the link here for you all to see.
Unfortunatly, I can't stay long tonight, I think I am coming down with a cold, and I need to make up some lost sleep. As I said, I'll post when I have the album up, or maybe sooner!

Take care everyone.
ttfn

Off to the concert!

Ok, I am off to the concert! I'll be gone until sometime tomorrow. When I get home, I'll post some pics from the concert, and I'll tell how it was.

Gotta run, my brother is pushing me out the door.

Cheers!
Ash